Heather Cofer

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Only One Life

2 Jun

Every once-in-a-while it hits me hard just how fleeting this life is.

Generally speaking I feel young and I look even younger, so this hasn’t been something I’ve constantly dwelt on. But as I head into my 30’s in a few short months, I’m finding that this sobering reality is coming to mind with increasing frequency.

I’m grateful when the Lord pricks my soul when I slip into the “I’ll be here forever” mindset. I don’t want to come to the end of my life with unnecessary regret because I frittered away the precious breath God has gifted to me. I long to say with Paul,

“I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” 

1 Timothy 4:7

I don’t believe this means frantically running myself into the ground, fretting that I’m not doing enough for the Lord. I do believe it means living in continual obedience to His revealed will in Scripture, and in whatever ways He calls me in-particular to glorify Him with my body, mind, and soul. 

Whenever I go through the process re-evaluating whether I’m “keeping in step with the Spirit” (Galatians 5:25) in my actions, thoughts, and words, here are three questions I ask myself in regard to the activities I’m doing, the content I’m consuming, or where my priorities lie . These questions may take different forms for other people, but I’d encourage anyone to have similar ones to aid in bringing clarity to the direction of our lives.

1. Am I Distracted?

There are plenty of good things that start as fine or helpful, but can quickly become a distraction from what is most important. This might be an activity that slowly begins to take me away from my God-given priorities (like browsing social media too long), or it might be a topic I’m studying that is distracting my mind and heart from keeping centered on Jesus (like a particular worldview or current event). I can usually tell if it’s become a hindrance in some way when I begin to begrudge the responsibilities that I have, or if I find my thoughts wandering to other things when I’m studying God’s Word. Sometimes this means setting aside those now-distractions for a time to allow God to realign my heart and mind first upon Him, then upon His priorities for me. 

2. Am I numb?

When I find my heart growing numb toward others, toward truth, or toward issues that God desires us to care about, I know it’s time for a regroup. Usually this means that I especially need to be more fervent in my prayer life. It isn’t usually difficult for me to be fairly consistent in my time in the Bible, but I’ve found that being consistent in prayer is much harder for me. I also know that prayer is what keeps me soft to the truth I’m learning from the Word, and also keeps me humble before the Lord. Prayer is a reminder that I cannot obey anything I’m called to as His follower apart from His grace. And it’s in prayer that the fire of love, compassion, and truth is re-kindled. 

3. Am i Afraid?

Fear of man is one of my long-term vices, and this is manifested particularly by keeping silent when I know I need to speak the truth. By God’s grace I’ve seen significant growth in this area, but I can always tell when I’m slipping back into old patterns when my mouth stays shut simply because I’m afraid of how I might look in the eyes of others. 

I know this is only something the Lord can change in me, and so it takes going back to Him, repenting of fearing others more than I fear Him, and asking Him to give me an eternal perspective. 

When I’m keeping my eyes on the “finish line” of eternity, I’m willing to lay down my pride and reputation for the sake of doing what is right. I’m willing to be called hateful or mean, because my security rests in God’s view of me rather than the judgement of others. 

I know fear of man isn’t a huge struggle for everyone; however, each of us has some sort of “besetting sin” that we need to continually allow the Lord to sanctify in us in order to live effectively for His glory. 


I heard a quote (taken from a poem*) nearly 10 years ago that often resurfaces when I am tempted to lay down my sword, so to speak, and live for my own pleasure rather than in constant pursuit of my King.

“Only one life, ‘twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.”

Today matters; this moment matters. And even though I sense keenly the frailness of my own follow-through, I know that God is faithful. He will equip each and every one of His redeemed children for what He calls us to, enabling us to enter His presence and hear “Well done.”


*Only One Life
By C. T. Studd

Two little lines I heard one day, Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgment seat;
Only one life,’ twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its days I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say, “Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say ’twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’ twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.


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    June 10, 2021 at 4:06 am

    […] mentioned in my last blog post that I’ve always struggled with the fear of man. God has been working on this for quite some […]

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This past weekend Judah and I had the immense priv This past weekend Judah and I had the immense privilege of witnessing our five-year-old daughter surrender her life to the Lord.

God has used the salvation of my children to remind me of the Gospel that will never grow old, but that too often loses its wonder in my mind’s eye. What a gift that, in a world filled with evil and upheaval, God is quietly revealing that He is at work in the lives of those most precious to me.

I’m brought back to the reality of what Christ has done on our behalf, simple enough for a child to grasp, yet so profound we’ll never understand the half of it (at least not this side of heaven).

[Read the full post from my rejoicing heart at the link in my bio💕]
I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure t I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure there will be a multitude of voices today, but I’m going to chance it and add a few comments to the throng.

I’ve been seeing the argument over and over by pro-abortion advocates that we cannot be truly pro-life unless we’re personally adopting every child who is in foster care, providing childcare or tuition fees for every teen mom who chooses to keep their child, or rallying for every social cause. But this is simply not true. Can we not be against human trafficking without personally going and rescuing every single victim? Can we not think sexual assault is wrong without personally investing in every person who’s experienced it? We can and must hold fast to objective truths about right and wrong according to Scripture. When God gives us opportunities to personally give of our time, resources, and energy to love and care for those who are affected by an unexpected pregnancy—whether that’s providing diapers or adopting a child—we should wholeheartedly obey. But if what God is asking of you today is to get on your knees for those babies, mamas, and daddies who are touched by an unexpected pregnancy, remember that this is no less important. God moves when His people cry out to Him in prayer.

There is also the argument floating around that Christians talk big but act little. In other words, we aren’t actually willing to step in and help the babies we’ve wanted to protect in the womb. But if you look at the statistics that’s also false. Professing Christians are far more likely to personally invest time and resources into caring for the vulnerable than the general population (take a look at Josh Howerton’s pinned thread on Twitter as a starting place). Are there those whose lives contradict their words? Of course. God has to convict all of us of hypocrisy to one degree or another. Where we’ve failed to obey we should repent. However, we shouldn’t buy the lie that *every* Christian is failing to love the vulnerable. And, we need to remember that we’re simply responsible to do what God entrusts us with today—no more, no less. 

Lord, help your people to pray faithfully, serve faithfully, and give faithfully for your glory.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a her I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a hermeneutics class our teacher saying, “In Ezekiel 16, do you know what sin is listed first as reasons God destroyed Sodom? Pride.”

This struck me to the core. God had been doing a significant work in my life on this very thing. I’d grown up in a Christian home, been a rule-follower, and truly did love Jesus from a young age. That said, it was hard for me to grasp the depth of my sinfulness. I didn’t have a “past” and I’d never been a trouble-maker. But in my early 20’s I began to feel an increasing desperation to know and love Jesus more. As I pressed into Him I sensed Him speaking to my heart: 

“If you want your love for me to grow you need to see what you’ve been saved from.” 

He began exposing the depth of pride and filthy self-righteousness I’d viewed as lesser evils. It was so painful, but so freeing at the same time. I knew I was no better than those who’d committed the vilest atrocities, equally in need of the blood of Christ to “cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). I truly grasped the reality that not a single ounce of my own effort had contributed to my salvation. I wept over my sin and God’s mercy toward me for the first time.

So in this month that is dedicated to celebrating pride, I want to remember—remember that Jesus can transform anyone who turns to Him in repentance. Remember that Jesus “saved a wretch like me.” 
Remember that Christ gives grace to every person who humbles themselves before Him.
Remember that we are all the same at the foot of the cross.
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#lookingtoJesus #amazinggrace #pride
Our beautiful boy is 1. All the memories surround Our beautiful boy is 1. 
All the memories surrounding his birth are filling my mind and heart today.

This time last year I was in a hospital bed adjusting to the reality of our son coming a month early. I felt so weak, so weary, so unprepared to labor another child from womb to world. It looked like a C-section would be the only option after hours of unimproved heart rate dips. My midwife (whom I’d just met that day) even cried for me (how precious is that?😭). My husband and I prayed for what seemed impossible—a vaginal delivery—and in God’s mercy He chose to grant it. Although it was by far my most painful, difficult birth I was in awe that God had shown such kindness to me. I knew He saw and heard, and was glorified to answer our audacious ask. The midwife and nurse said they’d never seen a turn-around like that in all their years of practicing. 

Little buddy still needed a week in the nicu, yet the Lord revealed His gentleness at every turn—holding my tender, reeling heart in His hands. 

Then, he was home. Yet another answered prayer (they’d projected 3-4 weeks). I’ll never forget the utter joy of his siblings upon his homecoming.

God did not spare me from pain in Jack’s birth story, but instead revealed Himself faithfully and beautifully in the midst of it. When I look at Jack Lewis Cofer, I will always see a testimony of God’s lovingkindness toward me.

Happy Birthday, precious boy. You are a gift I’m unworthy, but so grateful, to steward.
Today I celebrate my dear father. To sum up what Today I celebrate my dear father.

To sum up what I’ve learned from his life would take a post much longer than the word count IG allows. But what I admire the most about him in recent years is seeing a man who consistently grows in wisdom, humility, and joy. He’s one of my favorite people in the world to have deep conversations with—encouraging me to think deeply—and pointing me back to Jesus continually. He’s lived out the declaration in Isaiah 6:8, a passage he loves: “Here I am! Send me.” No words can capture my gratitude for such a rare gift. 

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebr It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebrate the dad of our children. 
Men of integrity, faithfulness, wisdom, repentance, and holiness are few in this world. But where they are found, it is a joy to honor them. I praise God for the one found in my own home, relentlessly fighting to fix his eyes on Jesus and obey the call on his life to love, disciple, and shepherd his family.

I adore you, @judahcofer. Happy Father’s Day.
When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility o When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility of coming to TGCW with her (and a nearly immediate “do it” from my husband) I was thrilled. Hands down, my favorite part was the hours and hours of time with this dear friend. It was so sweet to meet *so* many Instagram faces in-person, hear lots of messages, buy books, and drink a good deal of coffee. 

Now it’s off to my husband and little people. As they say, there’s no place like home. 💕

Until next time, Indy!
Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely neglected spot in our yard. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a little blanket of a particular weed beginning to grow, but decided to leave it to work on something else, convincing myself it could pass as nice ground-cover while I worked on “more important” projects. 

But a couple days ago I noticed it no longer passed as ground cover.😅

As I tugged at the multitude of weeds, I pondered how unassuming and rather pretty it looks when it’s small. Whimsical, white flowers bloom along it’s vine-y tendrils. But as it grows it slowly takes over everything. It wraps itself around branches and stems, making it difficult to distinguish which is which. If you take a close look at it, it’s very structure is twisted—growing to overpower and overtake.

How like sin these little weeds are—so often seeming harmless and even a delight to the eye. We let it be, thinking it can pass as part of the scenery of our lives. But it’s whole intention is to overtake. It slowly-yet-steadily wraps itself around whatever it can get ahold of, effecting every aspect of our lives. And eventually it’ll choke the life out of us.

No matter how innocent or appealing sin appears, it needs to be dealt with like these weeds: done away with. Given no room to flourish. Pulled up by the root and tossed out with the trash. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us tending these sins, or at least tolerating them. He knows that any inch we give to sin it will take a mile, keeping us from flourishing in the abundant life of Christ we’ve been given. 

Praise God for His grace that gives us the ability to say no to sin, to deal with it ruthlessly. Apart from Him we are slaves to our sin with no hope of freedom—no desire, even, for a life outside the bondage of death. What mercy, what love found in Jesus who died to free us from “the sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12). 

May any facade of beauty that sin might hold wither in the face of His glory.
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#lookingtoJesus #weeding #ponderings #Christcenteredwomanhood
“Lord, tether my dreams to reality.” This has “Lord, tether my dreams to reality.”

This has been a prayer I’ve continually lifted as of late.

I, as most do, have passions and interests that fall outside my family and home sphere. I have “one day” pursuits I feel quite strongly about. And the temptation can sometimes be to skimp in the “already here” and put my best efforts into those other desires (which are good things in-and-of themselves).

But here’s the reality: 

• I have one life to live. What I choose today matters.

• God’s priorities for me are worth pursuing with my whole heart, regardless of the messages the world (and sometimes my own heart) shouts at me. Why? Because He’s my Creator and only He gets to say what’s best for my life.

• My God-given priorities *today* include (but are not limited to) loving my husband and raising, training, teaching, loving, nurturing, and protecting five little people He’s entrusted to me. I alone have been granted the privilege of being called “Mommy” by these children, and “wife” of this precious man. Any other pursuits in this season must strengthen—not hinder—these callings. And, I might add, these 6 people are a dream come true.

• Some of those future dreams/pursuits are dependent on my faithfulness here and now. Why? Because every choice today is a seed planted, a stone laid. What will these say about me 20 years from now?

• I ultimately don’t want anything other than what God wants for me. He has the right and ability to change my course as He sees fit. If He chooses to allow those other dreams to come to fruition in His time and way I’ll be thrilled. But if He takes them away, blessed be His name. 

Tethered dreams have time to mature, deepen, be refined or even changed completely with age. Tethered dreams recognize that I can’t see the beginning from the end. Tethered dreams are safe with the One who can.

Lord, tether my dreams to reality.
Your reality.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and “The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” - G. K. Chesterton

The moral fabric of our society is being shredded to pieces right before our eyes, and the attack on the family is right at the heart of it.

Is there anything more counter-cultural we can do than hold fast to God’s design for family—a husband and wife covenanting to one another until death, bearing and raising children for the glory of God? I doubt it. This seemingly simple stand is being showered with fiery darts. The enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for believers to cave to the pressures and lies of society.

But by God’s grace, we can hold fast to this now-radical, Christ-honoring view of husbands, wives, and children. It might feel insignificant at times. But I have a feeling this obedience in regard to God’s design family is accomplishing far more than we’ll ever know this side of eternity.
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#lookingtoJesus #family #husbandsandwives #children #childrenareagift
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