Heather Cofer

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Postpartum Encouragement Part 1: Spiritual Preparation

2 Jul
photo by Lauren Robertson

I’m so excited to be linking arms with my dear friend, Lauren, who is a certified doula (and was at my most recent birth just two weeks ago), to do a mini series on preparing for postpartum. She and I have a mutual desire to come alongside women walking through pregnancy and the postpartum season, so we decided to join forces to encourage those mamas out there who are anticipating or are in the midst of adjusting to a new babe and all that comes along with that. 

We’ll be sharing a mini series of postpartum preparation and encouragement over the next several weeks. Lauren’s posts will focus primarily on the practical preparation, and mine will focus mostly on the heart preparation. You can read Lauren’s posts HERE.


I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s said, “I wish I’d been more prepared for postpartum.” In fact, I know I’m not the only one, because I’ve had quite a handful of conversations about this very topic with other mamas. 

There is so much information and preparation that we glean for pregnancy, labor, and birth, but for some reason preparing for postpartum can often be an afterthought; more of a “we’ll have the baby and live happily ever after” approach. But in reality, this is just the beginning of an equally intense new life season. It’s not only a transition because we have a new little one to care for, but our own body is going through major recovery, adjustment, and adaptation in the midst of it (usually with very little sleep). This can make for an earth-shaking combination when we’re not well-equipped beforehand. 

I’m now in the midst of my fifth postpartum season, reminded yet again of just how important both the practical and “heart” preparation are to walk through this transition with grace. 

I think about this heart preparation into three main spheres: Spiritual, Emotional, and Mental.

This week I’ll hone in on the spiritual preparation.

Spiritual preparation

I wholeheartedly believe the best way to be prepared both emotionally and mentally for the postpartum season is having a firm grounding in the Lord. There are a whole host of changes going on inside us that we have very little (or zero) control over, and it’s in these times we can rely fully on the grace that is given to us, no matter what our bodies are being put through. 

My life verse is Isaiah 26:3-4

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you;
Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD God is an everlasting rock.” 

These are verses that ring true in any phase of life, but they are perfectly fitting for the postpartum weeks. When our minds are stayed on Christ, our hearts will be filled with peace in the midst of long nights, nursing struggles, body changes, sore everything, and weepy eyes. 

These are three ways I’ve found to be so helpful in shoring up my mind and heart with truth as I anticipate and walk through the “fourth trimester,” as some call it.

1. Meditate on Scripture

Picking out verses or key truths from the Bible to mull over again and again is a lifeline in this season of ups and downs. It doesn’t necessarily need to look like memorizing a long passage. Sometimes just one phrase that can aid in returning our gaze again and again to our faithful Savior. 

The verse that’s been in my mind  continuously leading up to my current postpartum session is Colossians 3:15,

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” 

Ask the Lord to highlight what truth(s) about Himself He wants you to cling to in your own postpartum time. Then hide it in your heart and bring it continually to your mind and lips. 

2. Make a Worship Playlist

I always make a playlist to listen to during labor. I pick these songs out in the weeks leading up to the birth, choosing ones that will draw my heart back to the Lord and remind me of who He is. I often end up listening to these in the days following the birth of my baby, because the truths that fill the worship songs are just as applicable after the baby arrives as during the process of bringing them into the world. It’s a lot harder to spend uninterrupted time reading the Bible (and if we do have it, it’s not so easy to concentrate when you’ve spent all night feeding and comforting a baby), so having others speak (or sing) biblical truths for you to dwell on is a gift to take advantage of. 

Consider making a playlist full of worship songs that will encourage you in the midst of your postpartum season. Pick songs that are full of Scripture (Shane and Shane’s Psalms  Vol. 2 album is one of my favorites for that reason). Then intentionally listen to the lyrics. Pour out your heart to Him. Worship Him and give thanks. Allow Him to minister to your heart as you bask in the greatness of who He is.

3. pray about everything

In my current postpartum season I’ve gained a whole new appreciation for the power and privilege of prayer. Most of the first week of my tiny son’s life was spent holding him while hooked to wires, an IV and feeding tube. So there was much time (and little else I could do but) to pray. This brought such comfort and peace in the midst of a rocky beginning to my fifth round of postpartum. We also watched the Lord answer again and again, experiencing His love and nearness in a precious way. What an immense gift to be able to draw near to the God of the universe, communing with Him, petitioning Him, and praising Him. 

God desires us to bring everything to His throne room of grace in our time of need (Heb. 4:16). There is nothing too big or too small to talk to Him about or invite Him to be a part of. He cares about your sleepless nights. He cares about your hard emotions. He cares about the insecurity over body changes. He cares about your baby’s tummy troubles; He wants you to entrust every bit of it into His Almighty hands. He delights to hear and answer our prayers prayed in childlike faith.

Start to make prayer your first turn. Are you worried about whether your child is eating enough? Pray. Do you feel too weary to function? Tell God about it. Are you feeling overwhelmed by your changing hormones? Bring it to Him. Let Him be your Comforter, your Healer, and your Wisdom-Giver. Trust that when you call upon Him, He will answer. It may not be in the way you expected or when you expected the answer, but keep your eyes open for what He will do, and how He will even use the trials to display His love and power in your life. 


Finally, surrender to what the Lord has for you to learn in this season of change and weakness. Ask Him to help you rest in Him and gain a deeper trust in His love and guidance. He will not waste one bit of this time as you allow Him to use it for your good and His glory.

Your friend,

If this post was encouraging to you, would you consider sharing it so it can reach more women who would be blessed by it? Many thanks!

Previous Post: « A Tribute to Godly Fathers
Next Post: Postpartum Encouragement Part 2: Mental Preparation »

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  1. Planning for a Grace-Filled Postpartum: Part 1 - Engraced Living says:
    July 2, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    […] For this mini series on postpartum encouragement, I am teaming up with one of my besties, Heather. She is a mom of five kiddos and is currently right in the middle of her own postpartum with her sweet baby, Jack. Heather was at two of my births and I was so thrilled to be her doula this time around. She is an incredible example to me and many others in glorifying God through the joys and challenges of motherhood. You can read her posts HERE. […]

    Reply
  2. Planning for a Grace-Filled Postpartum: Part Two - Engraced Living says:
    July 13, 2021 at 10:08 pm

    […] For this mini series on postpartum encouragement, I am teaming up with one of my close friends, Heather. She is a mom of five kiddos and is currently right in the middle of her own postpartum with her sweet baby, Jack. Heather was at two of my births and I was so thrilled to be her doula this time around. She is an incredible example to me and many others in glorifying God through the joys and challenges of motherhood. You can read her posts HERE. […]

    Reply
  3. Planning for a Grace-filled Postpartum: Part 3 - Engraced Living says:
    July 22, 2021 at 8:44 am

    […] For this mini series on postpartum encouragement, I am teaming up with one of my close friends, Heather. She is a mom of five kiddos and is currently right in the middle of her own postpartum with her sweet baby, Jack. Heather was at two of my births and I was so thrilled to be her doula this time around. She is an incredible example to me and many others in glorifying God through the joys and challenges of motherhood. You can read her posts HERE. […]

    Reply
  4. Postpartum Encouragement Part 3: Emotional Preparation says:
    July 22, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    […] case you missed them, here are part 1 and 2 from this series:Postpartum Encouragement Part 1: Spiritual PreparationPostpartum Encouragement Part 2: Mental […]

    Reply
  5. Baby Essentials with a Mom of 5 & Mom of 3 - Engraced Living says:
    July 30, 2021 at 5:39 am

    […] PART 1: Spiritual preparationPART 2: Mental preparationPART 3: Emotional preparation […]

    Reply

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My middle-little sister, Holly, has spent the past My middle-little sister, Holly, has spent the past 6+ months in our house fam. There’s a 7 year age difference between us, so when I got married she was just entering her teen years. She lived across the world from me for a good part of the next decade, so when she decided to move up our way for a while I was thrilled. Spending hours of up-close, in-person time together has been a precious gift. Having siblings that become some of your dearest friends is, I’m discovering, one of the greatest joys of adulthood.

Now she’s off to the next chapter. I know God’s going to continue to use her to bless others in significant ways, just as she’s blessed us—this servant-hearted, joy-filled sister of mine. I’m so grateful for you, @holly_sprenger.
As I watch the happenings in this world I have an As I watch the happenings in this world I have an ever-increasing ache—a yearning—to be known first and foremost by my allegiance to Jesus Christ.

As I read headlines, hot takes, opinions, debates between fellow believers—praying and seeking to learn and discern—I’m more certain than ever that being a Christian frees us from being defined by or confined to earthly labels in our stances on any given issue. We’re free to champion what God champions, to despise what God despises regardless of how it might be viewed by those around us or what political lines it might cross. We’re free to love those who differ from us, and yes, even free to love those who do us wrong. 

I have strong opinions and thoughts about certain issues—no doubt about it. I disagree with certain thoughts or opinions fellow believers hold. But what I want those brothers and sisters to know about me *first* is that I love them, not how I might disagree with them. Yes, there’s a place to discuss, to sharpen one another, to exhort and encourage, to warn and even to rebuke at times when we see fellow believers straying from Christ. But the world is supposed to know us by our love for each other, not our debates and conflicts. This should temper the “what,” “how,” and “when” of every conversation. 

Some of us are called to stand more publicly against certain evils and injustices than others. We should expect the best of those who aren’t doing or saying exactly what we’re doing or saying (*especially* if we’re defining them by their lack of words on social media. There are faithful Christians who will never say a word about current issues online, but are obeying in word and deed in their in-person spheres). That said, this should *never* be used as an excuse to neglect the actions and words that every Christ-follower must be marked by according to Scripture. And when we find ourselves hesitating to obey any of God’s commands due to another allegiance something needs to change.

Lord, may your people be defined not by causes, but by Christ; not by worldly labels, but by you alone.
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#lookingtoJesus #thegospelchangeseverything #Christcenteredwomanhood
I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant the past few days. I snipped and propagated it from a stunning outdoor hanging plant we had a couple years ago after it scorched in the intense CO sun. After weeks of daily watching I finally saw the roots appear, and replanted it. Fuchsia is special to me, because it’s one of the plants that beautified our windowsills in Mongolia throughout our years there. I love having one in our home.

Recently, though, did a little trimming of this plant. I noticed there were a couple of overly flourishing sprigs; they were so long they were keeping the little plant from filling out. So, as much as I hated to do it, I clipped them off. To my delight, brand new leaves began appearing within days all over the plant.

Why has this been on my mind?  Because it reminded me that sometimes—in order for us to flourish—we need to clip back areas in our lives that are zapping growth. It’s often a painful decision, because they’re usually pastimes or vocations we love. But we know in order to direct time and energy toward our God-given priorities we need to do a little clipping of those gangly offshoots. Although we feel bare for a time, it doesn’t take long for the evidence of growth and life to show itself where it was much needed. 

And guess what? Those clipped offshoots are sitting in a jar in the kitchen, waiting to sprout new roots. They aren’t gone forever, just being prepped to produce life rather than zap it. Sometimes branches do need to be clipped and tossed. Other times they just need to be propagated—waiting for new roots to grow so they can grow and flourish at the right time in the right way.

“Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:2
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#lookingtoJesus #plants #Christcenteredwomanhood #fuchsia #ponderings #lessonseverywhere
//Well, it’s all an adventure That comes with a //Well, it’s all an adventure
That comes with a breathtaking view
Walking a tightrope
With you//

The incredible @frostedphotographer took some headshots for us, and she said, “Do you want to snap a few together?” Yes, please. 😍😍😍

Forever thankful for the gift of a life adventure with this man.
//Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, Su //Summer and winter and
springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their
courses above,
Join with all nature in 
manifold witness
to Thy great faithfulness,
mercy, and love//
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#greatisthyfaithfulness #lookingtoJesus #springtime
“Being like Jesus” will never contradict the r “Being like Jesus” will never contradict the rest of Scripture.

Several times as of late I’ve read or heard examples of people using stories of Jesus from the gospels to back up an argument about accepting sin of some kind. They say that if His followers are going to be like Him they need to follow His example—His example by their interpretation, that is.

But the narratives told of Jesus in the Gospels will *never* contradict the specific commands Christ-followers are given in the rest of the New Testament. Jesus never justified a sin we’re commanded to repent of. A sinful attitude never laced His words, no matter how matter-of-fact His rebukes were. Jesus is the Word made flesh. He will never go against His character or commands for His people.

We can be hard-line on sin while being gentle and kind. We can show compassion without compromising truth. We can be loving while holding fast to biblical convictions. We can, and we must.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Changing Him in any way for our own gain—whether that’s for fleshly gratification or out of fear of others—is making a Jesus in our image. This is a Jesus who cannot save. 

But we have a Jesus who *can* save, who needs no re-making. May we, by His grace, be ever-conforming to Him.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood #Christcenteredliving #truth #love #Jesusislife
“Only God Himself fully appreciates the influenc “Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.” 
-Billy Graham

I know without a doubt this is true of my mom. This side of heaven I’ll have no idea what depths her godly influence and faithfulness has had upon me as a wife, mom, and woman in any sphere. I will never forget her telling us, “I’m so thankful I get to spend my days with you.” To have the assurance we were loved and enjoyed on top of all she did for our physical needs was a priceless gift. And, as I prepared to enter into adulthood she not only mentored me, but invited me into friendship with her. There aren’t words to sum up that kind of honor.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thank you for being willing to love and follow Jesus in whatever He’s asked of you. There is nothing greater you could’ve given to us. I love you.
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