Heather Cofer

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Postpartum Encouragement Part 1: Spiritual Preparation

2 Jul
photo by Lauren Robertson

I’m so excited to be linking arms with my dear friend, Lauren, who is a certified doula (and was at my most recent birth just two weeks ago), to do a mini series on preparing for postpartum. She and I have a mutual desire to come alongside women walking through pregnancy and the postpartum season, so we decided to join forces to encourage those mamas out there who are anticipating or are in the midst of adjusting to a new babe and all that comes along with that. 

We’ll be sharing a mini series of postpartum preparation and encouragement over the next several weeks. Lauren’s posts will focus primarily on the practical preparation, and mine will focus mostly on the heart preparation. You can read Lauren’s posts HERE.


I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s said, “I wish I’d been more prepared for postpartum.” In fact, I know I’m not the only one, because I’ve had quite a handful of conversations about this very topic with other mamas. 

There is so much information and preparation that we glean for pregnancy, labor, and birth, but for some reason preparing for postpartum can often be an afterthought; more of a “we’ll have the baby and live happily ever after” approach. But in reality, this is just the beginning of an equally intense new life season. It’s not only a transition because we have a new little one to care for, but our own body is going through major recovery, adjustment, and adaptation in the midst of it (usually with very little sleep). This can make for an earth-shaking combination when we’re not well-equipped beforehand. 

I’m now in the midst of my fifth postpartum season, reminded yet again of just how important both the practical and “heart” preparation are to walk through this transition with grace. 

I think about this heart preparation into three main spheres: Spiritual, Emotional, and Mental.

This week I’ll hone in on the spiritual preparation.

Spiritual preparation

I wholeheartedly believe the best way to be prepared both emotionally and mentally for the postpartum season is having a firm grounding in the Lord. There are a whole host of changes going on inside us that we have very little (or zero) control over, and it’s in these times we can rely fully on the grace that is given to us, no matter what our bodies are being put through. 

My life verse is Isaiah 26:3-4

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you;
Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD God is an everlasting rock.” 

These are verses that ring true in any phase of life, but they are perfectly fitting for the postpartum weeks. When our minds are stayed on Christ, our hearts will be filled with peace in the midst of long nights, nursing struggles, body changes, sore everything, and weepy eyes. 

These are three ways I’ve found to be so helpful in shoring up my mind and heart with truth as I anticipate and walk through the “fourth trimester,” as some call it.

1. Meditate on Scripture

Picking out verses or key truths from the Bible to mull over again and again is a lifeline in this season of ups and downs. It doesn’t necessarily need to look like memorizing a long passage. Sometimes just one phrase that can aid in returning our gaze again and again to our faithful Savior. 

The verse that’s been in my mind  continuously leading up to my current postpartum session is Colossians 3:15,

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” 

Ask the Lord to highlight what truth(s) about Himself He wants you to cling to in your own postpartum time. Then hide it in your heart and bring it continually to your mind and lips. 

2. Make a Worship Playlist

I always make a playlist to listen to during labor. I pick these songs out in the weeks leading up to the birth, choosing ones that will draw my heart back to the Lord and remind me of who He is. I often end up listening to these in the days following the birth of my baby, because the truths that fill the worship songs are just as applicable after the baby arrives as during the process of bringing them into the world. It’s a lot harder to spend uninterrupted time reading the Bible (and if we do have it, it’s not so easy to concentrate when you’ve spent all night feeding and comforting a baby), so having others speak (or sing) biblical truths for you to dwell on is a gift to take advantage of. 

Consider making a playlist full of worship songs that will encourage you in the midst of your postpartum season. Pick songs that are full of Scripture (Shane and Shane’s Psalms  Vol. 2 album is one of my favorites for that reason). Then intentionally listen to the lyrics. Pour out your heart to Him. Worship Him and give thanks. Allow Him to minister to your heart as you bask in the greatness of who He is.

3. pray about everything

In my current postpartum season I’ve gained a whole new appreciation for the power and privilege of prayer. Most of the first week of my tiny son’s life was spent holding him while hooked to wires, an IV and feeding tube. So there was much time (and little else I could do but) to pray. This brought such comfort and peace in the midst of a rocky beginning to my fifth round of postpartum. We also watched the Lord answer again and again, experiencing His love and nearness in a precious way. What an immense gift to be able to draw near to the God of the universe, communing with Him, petitioning Him, and praising Him. 

God desires us to bring everything to His throne room of grace in our time of need (Heb. 4:16). There is nothing too big or too small to talk to Him about or invite Him to be a part of. He cares about your sleepless nights. He cares about your hard emotions. He cares about the insecurity over body changes. He cares about your baby’s tummy troubles; He wants you to entrust every bit of it into His Almighty hands. He delights to hear and answer our prayers prayed in childlike faith.

Start to make prayer your first turn. Are you worried about whether your child is eating enough? Pray. Do you feel too weary to function? Tell God about it. Are you feeling overwhelmed by your changing hormones? Bring it to Him. Let Him be your Comforter, your Healer, and your Wisdom-Giver. Trust that when you call upon Him, He will answer. It may not be in the way you expected or when you expected the answer, but keep your eyes open for what He will do, and how He will even use the trials to display His love and power in your life. 


Finally, surrender to what the Lord has for you to learn in this season of change and weakness. Ask Him to help you rest in Him and gain a deeper trust in His love and guidance. He will not waste one bit of this time as you allow Him to use it for your good and His glory.

Your friend,

If this post was encouraging to you, would you consider sharing it so it can reach more women who would be blessed by it? Many thanks!

Previous Post: « A Tribute to Godly Fathers
Next Post: Postpartum Encouragement Part 2: Mental Preparation »

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  1. Planning for a Grace-Filled Postpartum: Part 1 - Engraced Living says:
    July 2, 2021 at 1:21 pm

    […] For this mini series on postpartum encouragement, I am teaming up with one of my besties, Heather. She is a mom of five kiddos and is currently right in the middle of her own postpartum with her sweet baby, Jack. Heather was at two of my births and I was so thrilled to be her doula this time around. She is an incredible example to me and many others in glorifying God through the joys and challenges of motherhood. You can read her posts HERE. […]

    Reply
  2. Planning for a Grace-Filled Postpartum: Part Two - Engraced Living says:
    July 13, 2021 at 10:08 pm

    […] For this mini series on postpartum encouragement, I am teaming up with one of my close friends, Heather. She is a mom of five kiddos and is currently right in the middle of her own postpartum with her sweet baby, Jack. Heather was at two of my births and I was so thrilled to be her doula this time around. She is an incredible example to me and many others in glorifying God through the joys and challenges of motherhood. You can read her posts HERE. […]

    Reply
  3. Planning for a Grace-filled Postpartum: Part 3 - Engraced Living says:
    July 22, 2021 at 8:44 am

    […] For this mini series on postpartum encouragement, I am teaming up with one of my close friends, Heather. She is a mom of five kiddos and is currently right in the middle of her own postpartum with her sweet baby, Jack. Heather was at two of my births and I was so thrilled to be her doula this time around. She is an incredible example to me and many others in glorifying God through the joys and challenges of motherhood. You can read her posts HERE. […]

    Reply
  4. Postpartum Encouragement Part 3: Emotional Preparation says:
    July 22, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    […] case you missed them, here are part 1 and 2 from this series:Postpartum Encouragement Part 1: Spiritual PreparationPostpartum Encouragement Part 2: Mental […]

    Reply
  5. Baby Essentials with a Mom of 5 & Mom of 3 - Engraced Living says:
    July 30, 2021 at 5:39 am

    […] PART 1: Spiritual preparationPART 2: Mental preparationPART 3: Emotional preparation […]

    Reply

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This past weekend Judah and I had the immense priv This past weekend Judah and I had the immense privilege of witnessing our five-year-old daughter surrender her life to the Lord.

God has used the salvation of my children to remind me of the Gospel that will never grow old, but that too often loses its wonder in my mind’s eye. What a gift that, in a world filled with evil and upheaval, God is quietly revealing that He is at work in the lives of those most precious to me.

I’m brought back to the reality of what Christ has done on our behalf, simple enough for a child to grasp, yet so profound we’ll never understand the half of it (at least not this side of heaven).

[Read the full post from my rejoicing heart at the link in my bio💕]
I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure t I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure there will be a multitude of voices today, but I’m going to chance it and add a few comments to the throng.

I’ve been seeing the argument over and over by pro-abortion advocates that we cannot be truly pro-life unless we’re personally adopting every child who is in foster care, providing childcare or tuition fees for every teen mom who chooses to keep their child, or rallying for every social cause. But this is simply not true. Can we not be against human trafficking without personally going and rescuing every single victim? Can we not think sexual assault is wrong without personally investing in every person who’s experienced it? We can and must hold fast to objective truths about right and wrong according to Scripture. When God gives us opportunities to personally give of our time, resources, and energy to love and care for those who are affected by an unexpected pregnancy—whether that’s providing diapers or adopting a child—we should wholeheartedly obey. But if what God is asking of you today is to get on your knees for those babies, mamas, and daddies who are touched by an unexpected pregnancy, remember that this is no less important. God moves when His people cry out to Him in prayer.

There is also the argument floating around that Christians talk big but act little. In other words, we aren’t actually willing to step in and help the babies we’ve wanted to protect in the womb. But if you look at the statistics that’s also false. Professing Christians are far more likely to personally invest time and resources into caring for the vulnerable than the general population (take a look at Josh Howerton’s pinned thread on Twitter as a starting place). Are there those whose lives contradict their words? Of course. God has to convict all of us of hypocrisy to one degree or another. Where we’ve failed to obey we should repent. However, we shouldn’t buy the lie that *every* Christian is failing to love the vulnerable. And, we need to remember that we’re simply responsible to do what God entrusts us with today—no more, no less. 

Lord, help your people to pray faithfully, serve faithfully, and give faithfully for your glory.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a her I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a hermeneutics class our teacher saying, “In Ezekiel 16, do you know what sin is listed first as reasons God destroyed Sodom? Pride.”

This struck me to the core. God had been doing a significant work in my life on this very thing. I’d grown up in a Christian home, been a rule-follower, and truly did love Jesus from a young age. That said, it was hard for me to grasp the depth of my sinfulness. I didn’t have a “past” and I’d never been a trouble-maker. But in my early 20’s I began to feel an increasing desperation to know and love Jesus more. As I pressed into Him I sensed Him speaking to my heart: 

“If you want your love for me to grow you need to see what you’ve been saved from.” 

He began exposing the depth of pride and filthy self-righteousness I’d viewed as lesser evils. It was so painful, but so freeing at the same time. I knew I was no better than those who’d committed the vilest atrocities, equally in need of the blood of Christ to “cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). I truly grasped the reality that not a single ounce of my own effort had contributed to my salvation. I wept over my sin and God’s mercy toward me for the first time.

So in this month that is dedicated to celebrating pride, I want to remember—remember that Jesus can transform anyone who turns to Him in repentance. Remember that Jesus “saved a wretch like me.” 
Remember that Christ gives grace to every person who humbles themselves before Him.
Remember that we are all the same at the foot of the cross.
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#lookingtoJesus #amazinggrace #pride
Our beautiful boy is 1. All the memories surround Our beautiful boy is 1. 
All the memories surrounding his birth are filling my mind and heart today.

This time last year I was in a hospital bed adjusting to the reality of our son coming a month early. I felt so weak, so weary, so unprepared to labor another child from womb to world. It looked like a C-section would be the only option after hours of unimproved heart rate dips. My midwife (whom I’d just met that day) even cried for me (how precious is that?😭). My husband and I prayed for what seemed impossible—a vaginal delivery—and in God’s mercy He chose to grant it. Although it was by far my most painful, difficult birth I was in awe that God had shown such kindness to me. I knew He saw and heard, and was glorified to answer our audacious ask. The midwife and nurse said they’d never seen a turn-around like that in all their years of practicing. 

Little buddy still needed a week in the nicu, yet the Lord revealed His gentleness at every turn—holding my tender, reeling heart in His hands. 

Then, he was home. Yet another answered prayer (they’d projected 3-4 weeks). I’ll never forget the utter joy of his siblings upon his homecoming.

God did not spare me from pain in Jack’s birth story, but instead revealed Himself faithfully and beautifully in the midst of it. When I look at Jack Lewis Cofer, I will always see a testimony of God’s lovingkindness toward me.

Happy Birthday, precious boy. You are a gift I’m unworthy, but so grateful, to steward.
Today I celebrate my dear father. To sum up what Today I celebrate my dear father.

To sum up what I’ve learned from his life would take a post much longer than the word count IG allows. But what I admire the most about him in recent years is seeing a man who consistently grows in wisdom, humility, and joy. He’s one of my favorite people in the world to have deep conversations with—encouraging me to think deeply—and pointing me back to Jesus continually. He’s lived out the declaration in Isaiah 6:8, a passage he loves: “Here I am! Send me.” No words can capture my gratitude for such a rare gift. 

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebr It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebrate the dad of our children. 
Men of integrity, faithfulness, wisdom, repentance, and holiness are few in this world. But where they are found, it is a joy to honor them. I praise God for the one found in my own home, relentlessly fighting to fix his eyes on Jesus and obey the call on his life to love, disciple, and shepherd his family.

I adore you, @judahcofer. Happy Father’s Day.
When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility o When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility of coming to TGCW with her (and a nearly immediate “do it” from my husband) I was thrilled. Hands down, my favorite part was the hours and hours of time with this dear friend. It was so sweet to meet *so* many Instagram faces in-person, hear lots of messages, buy books, and drink a good deal of coffee. 

Now it’s off to my husband and little people. As they say, there’s no place like home. 💕

Until next time, Indy!
Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely neglected spot in our yard. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a little blanket of a particular weed beginning to grow, but decided to leave it to work on something else, convincing myself it could pass as nice ground-cover while I worked on “more important” projects. 

But a couple days ago I noticed it no longer passed as ground cover.😅

As I tugged at the multitude of weeds, I pondered how unassuming and rather pretty it looks when it’s small. Whimsical, white flowers bloom along it’s vine-y tendrils. But as it grows it slowly takes over everything. It wraps itself around branches and stems, making it difficult to distinguish which is which. If you take a close look at it, it’s very structure is twisted—growing to overpower and overtake.

How like sin these little weeds are—so often seeming harmless and even a delight to the eye. We let it be, thinking it can pass as part of the scenery of our lives. But it’s whole intention is to overtake. It slowly-yet-steadily wraps itself around whatever it can get ahold of, effecting every aspect of our lives. And eventually it’ll choke the life out of us.

No matter how innocent or appealing sin appears, it needs to be dealt with like these weeds: done away with. Given no room to flourish. Pulled up by the root and tossed out with the trash. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us tending these sins, or at least tolerating them. He knows that any inch we give to sin it will take a mile, keeping us from flourishing in the abundant life of Christ we’ve been given. 

Praise God for His grace that gives us the ability to say no to sin, to deal with it ruthlessly. Apart from Him we are slaves to our sin with no hope of freedom—no desire, even, for a life outside the bondage of death. What mercy, what love found in Jesus who died to free us from “the sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12). 

May any facade of beauty that sin might hold wither in the face of His glory.
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#lookingtoJesus #weeding #ponderings #Christcenteredwomanhood
“Lord, tether my dreams to reality.” This has “Lord, tether my dreams to reality.”

This has been a prayer I’ve continually lifted as of late.

I, as most do, have passions and interests that fall outside my family and home sphere. I have “one day” pursuits I feel quite strongly about. And the temptation can sometimes be to skimp in the “already here” and put my best efforts into those other desires (which are good things in-and-of themselves).

But here’s the reality: 

• I have one life to live. What I choose today matters.

• God’s priorities for me are worth pursuing with my whole heart, regardless of the messages the world (and sometimes my own heart) shouts at me. Why? Because He’s my Creator and only He gets to say what’s best for my life.

• My God-given priorities *today* include (but are not limited to) loving my husband and raising, training, teaching, loving, nurturing, and protecting five little people He’s entrusted to me. I alone have been granted the privilege of being called “Mommy” by these children, and “wife” of this precious man. Any other pursuits in this season must strengthen—not hinder—these callings. And, I might add, these 6 people are a dream come true.

• Some of those future dreams/pursuits are dependent on my faithfulness here and now. Why? Because every choice today is a seed planted, a stone laid. What will these say about me 20 years from now?

• I ultimately don’t want anything other than what God wants for me. He has the right and ability to change my course as He sees fit. If He chooses to allow those other dreams to come to fruition in His time and way I’ll be thrilled. But if He takes them away, blessed be His name. 

Tethered dreams have time to mature, deepen, be refined or even changed completely with age. Tethered dreams recognize that I can’t see the beginning from the end. Tethered dreams are safe with the One who can.

Lord, tether my dreams to reality.
Your reality.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and “The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” - G. K. Chesterton

The moral fabric of our society is being shredded to pieces right before our eyes, and the attack on the family is right at the heart of it.

Is there anything more counter-cultural we can do than hold fast to God’s design for family—a husband and wife covenanting to one another until death, bearing and raising children for the glory of God? I doubt it. This seemingly simple stand is being showered with fiery darts. The enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for believers to cave to the pressures and lies of society.

But by God’s grace, we can hold fast to this now-radical, Christ-honoring view of husbands, wives, and children. It might feel insignificant at times. But I have a feeling this obedience in regard to God’s design family is accomplishing far more than we’ll ever know this side of eternity.
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#lookingtoJesus #family #husbandsandwives #children #childrenareagift
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