Heather Cofer

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The Birth Story of Jack Lewis Cofer

11 Jul
All photos by Lauren Robertson

I’ve received the request a number of times to share the birth story of our little Jack. It’s not super polished, but neither is birth, is it? I hope it will be a blessing to you to read. Every birth is an incredible event that points us back to our God, the Author of life. 

I woke up just shy of 4am on Father’s Day (Sunday, June 20) feeling off. 

The three days prior to this had been spent at a conference, walking many more miles than I had for months. When we returned home on Saturday evening I could tell my body was stressed. I had severe swelling, was pretty sure I was dehydrated, and having Braxton-Hicks every five minutes or so. I told Judah, “I think I need to take it easy tomorrow,” as I sat on our couch elevating my sad-looking feet.

Back to 4am Sunday morning. I decided to get up, and as soon as I did my water broke. And let’s just say it was one of those dramatic versions like you’d see in a movie. I was only 35 weeks 6 days along, so I was shocked and disoriented (and my water has never broken earlier than a few minutes before my other kids were born). I gasped to Judah that I thought my water had broken; I’ve never seen him jump out of bed so quickly in our almost-decade of marriage. I tried to get myself cleaned up enough to get in the car while Judah texted the ladies who rent our basement to see if they could listen for the kids. I texted and called my doula, which I realized later I didn’t need to do yet, but I had no idea what was going on or when this baby was coming. My last labor was so quick, we only made it to the hospital 40 minutes before he was born (and that combined with car troubles) had meant she wasn’t able to make it. I really didn’t want that happening again.

Then we were off to the hospital.

We arrived to an empty ER, where they brought me a wheelchair. An OB nurse came to take us to the Mother and Baby floor, where they confirmed my water had broken and got me hooked up to monitors. They had a hard time starting an iv due to dehydration, which isn’t normal for me since I usually have great veins (they think this may be one of the issues that contributed to my water breaking).

I was having only mild contractions every 10-15 minutes, with no indication that they were getting stronger or closer together. I was 2-3cm dilated, but Jack’s head was not engaged at all. And it became apparent from the get-go that he wasn’t tolerating even the mildest contractions. He was having what I believe they call “late heart decelerations,” which indicates an issue with the placenta. These, the nurse told us, they can do very little to reverse, but that they would do everything in their power to try. 

The next couple of hours involved visits from the pediatrician to fill us in on what they usually see with a baby who is born at that gestational age and possible complications, a steroid shot to prep his lungs, and all the normal paperwork. The midwife brought a doctor in to get a second opinion on where things were at, and she concurred: things didn’t look promising for a vaginal delivery. They had me continually switching positions and gave me extra fluids to try to change the decelerations, but nothing was working. They had hooked me up to pitocin, but they could only use the smallest amount because of his continual heart rate dips.

About 5 or so hours in, my on-call midwife (who we’d only met that day) came in to talk with us. She actually started to cry as she told us it looked like there was no other option but c-section (she knew I’d delivered 4 other babies naturally, and was feeling for me; how sweet is that). She said they would give it as long as they could, but prepped us for the probable outcome and all that would entail. She and our nurse were so kind and sensitive, and left Judah and I to process. Judah texted our pastors and several other people to pray, then we sat together quietly. We’d heard an incredible message on prayer just days earlier at the homeschool conference that was resonating in both our hearts. I told Judah that although I was peaceful about whatever needed to happen, I felt that out of honor to the Lord I needed to pray specifically that He would turn this situation around if it would bring glory to Him. So we did just that. 

About an hour later, the heart decelerations just… stopped. The nurse came in, clearly excited, telling us they could up the pitocin to get labor going. The midwife came in, too, almost giddy. She said she couldn’t believe what had happened—that she’d never seen that kind of turn-around. We’d told both of them that we had people praying, and the nurse had told us she was also praying (the nurse was a believer, but the midwife was not). Both of them said there was no other explanation. God had clearly done something miraculous, and the glory was truly His.

I messaged Lauren (my doula)  that she could head our way. I’d been keeping her updated all day, and had been so sad at the thought of her missing another birth. But the Lord also granted that request, and it was an incredible help to have her there (in fact, it’s probably the only labor I would’ve had a really hard time coping with if I hadn’t had a doula there).

Judah was such a steady presence throughout the whole process. I will forever be grateful for this man who comforts and leads even in labor, which is so out of his control. I’m also so thankful he led us to go to the Lord in prayer first instead of simply relying on the wisdom of man. 

Labor was fast (around 3 hours), and I only pushed for about 10 minutes, but it was definitely my most painful. I’ve never labored with my water broken, and I think the combination of that with the pitocin (I’ve labored with pitocin one other time, but it was much easier), and the fact that my body wasn’t quite ready to deliver a baby was what made it more difficult. Although it was incredibly painful, I was so full of joy. The Lord had answered our prayers in an astounding way, and I couldn’t help but rejoice. God’s joy truly was my strength, and His peace truly ruled the whole process.

Jack was born just over 12 hours after my water had broken, and hearing his hearty cry was so sweet (they had prepared us for possible breathing issues, which he didn’t have). The placenta had quite a few spots of calcification, which is often a sign that it’s beginning to slow down; they said this could also have been one of the reasons my water broke so early. 

We were able to snuggle him for an hour or so before they did all the usual newborn things like weight (6lbs 1oz) and length (18″). Then we were taken to the recovery room. That’s when they tested his blood sugar—which was really low—and they took him over to the “special care” nursery (which, thankfully, was just a few doors down from my room). Thus began our next little adventure of our days in the NICU (they’d projected up to 4 weeks there, so the fact that he came home just 6 days later was a whole new set of answered prayers). But that’s another story for another time. I did, however, document quite a bit of it on my Instagram.

God used this birth and the surrounding events to grow my faith and display His love and care for me in precious ways. Just when I was tempted to think I’d learned all the lessons I could from labor and delivery, the Lord showed me He’s not done sanctifying and making me more like Him. He is good in all His ways!

Previous Post: « Postpartum Encouragement Part 2: Mental Preparation
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  1. Lauren says

    July 11, 2021 at 3:19 am

    So beautiful, friend! Honored to have been there. So thankful for a natural birth and Jack’s short stay in the NICU! ?

    Reply

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This past weekend Judah and I had the immense priv This past weekend Judah and I had the immense privilege of witnessing our five-year-old daughter surrender her life to the Lord.

God has used the salvation of my children to remind me of the Gospel that will never grow old, but that too often loses its wonder in my mind’s eye. What a gift that, in a world filled with evil and upheaval, God is quietly revealing that He is at work in the lives of those most precious to me.

I’m brought back to the reality of what Christ has done on our behalf, simple enough for a child to grasp, yet so profound we’ll never understand the half of it (at least not this side of heaven).

[Read the full post from my rejoicing heart at the link in my bio💕]
I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure t I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure there will be a multitude of voices today, but I’m going to chance it and add a few comments to the throng.

I’ve been seeing the argument over and over by pro-abortion advocates that we cannot be truly pro-life unless we’re personally adopting every child who is in foster care, providing childcare or tuition fees for every teen mom who chooses to keep their child, or rallying for every social cause. But this is simply not true. Can we not be against human trafficking without personally going and rescuing every single victim? Can we not think sexual assault is wrong without personally investing in every person who’s experienced it? We can and must hold fast to objective truths about right and wrong according to Scripture. When God gives us opportunities to personally give of our time, resources, and energy to love and care for those who are affected by an unexpected pregnancy—whether that’s providing diapers or adopting a child—we should wholeheartedly obey. But if what God is asking of you today is to get on your knees for those babies, mamas, and daddies who are touched by an unexpected pregnancy, remember that this is no less important. God moves when His people cry out to Him in prayer.

There is also the argument floating around that Christians talk big but act little. In other words, we aren’t actually willing to step in and help the babies we’ve wanted to protect in the womb. But if you look at the statistics that’s also false. Professing Christians are far more likely to personally invest time and resources into caring for the vulnerable than the general population (take a look at Josh Howerton’s pinned thread on Twitter as a starting place). Are there those whose lives contradict their words? Of course. God has to convict all of us of hypocrisy to one degree or another. Where we’ve failed to obey we should repent. However, we shouldn’t buy the lie that *every* Christian is failing to love the vulnerable. And, we need to remember that we’re simply responsible to do what God entrusts us with today—no more, no less. 

Lord, help your people to pray faithfully, serve faithfully, and give faithfully for your glory.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a her I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a hermeneutics class our teacher saying, “In Ezekiel 16, do you know what sin is listed first as reasons God destroyed Sodom? Pride.”

This struck me to the core. God had been doing a significant work in my life on this very thing. I’d grown up in a Christian home, been a rule-follower, and truly did love Jesus from a young age. That said, it was hard for me to grasp the depth of my sinfulness. I didn’t have a “past” and I’d never been a trouble-maker. But in my early 20’s I began to feel an increasing desperation to know and love Jesus more. As I pressed into Him I sensed Him speaking to my heart: 

“If you want your love for me to grow you need to see what you’ve been saved from.” 

He began exposing the depth of pride and filthy self-righteousness I’d viewed as lesser evils. It was so painful, but so freeing at the same time. I knew I was no better than those who’d committed the vilest atrocities, equally in need of the blood of Christ to “cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). I truly grasped the reality that not a single ounce of my own effort had contributed to my salvation. I wept over my sin and God’s mercy toward me for the first time.

So in this month that is dedicated to celebrating pride, I want to remember—remember that Jesus can transform anyone who turns to Him in repentance. Remember that Jesus “saved a wretch like me.” 
Remember that Christ gives grace to every person who humbles themselves before Him.
Remember that we are all the same at the foot of the cross.
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#lookingtoJesus #amazinggrace #pride
Our beautiful boy is 1. All the memories surround Our beautiful boy is 1. 
All the memories surrounding his birth are filling my mind and heart today.

This time last year I was in a hospital bed adjusting to the reality of our son coming a month early. I felt so weak, so weary, so unprepared to labor another child from womb to world. It looked like a C-section would be the only option after hours of unimproved heart rate dips. My midwife (whom I’d just met that day) even cried for me (how precious is that?😭). My husband and I prayed for what seemed impossible—a vaginal delivery—and in God’s mercy He chose to grant it. Although it was by far my most painful, difficult birth I was in awe that God had shown such kindness to me. I knew He saw and heard, and was glorified to answer our audacious ask. The midwife and nurse said they’d never seen a turn-around like that in all their years of practicing. 

Little buddy still needed a week in the nicu, yet the Lord revealed His gentleness at every turn—holding my tender, reeling heart in His hands. 

Then, he was home. Yet another answered prayer (they’d projected 3-4 weeks). I’ll never forget the utter joy of his siblings upon his homecoming.

God did not spare me from pain in Jack’s birth story, but instead revealed Himself faithfully and beautifully in the midst of it. When I look at Jack Lewis Cofer, I will always see a testimony of God’s lovingkindness toward me.

Happy Birthday, precious boy. You are a gift I’m unworthy, but so grateful, to steward.
Today I celebrate my dear father. To sum up what Today I celebrate my dear father.

To sum up what I’ve learned from his life would take a post much longer than the word count IG allows. But what I admire the most about him in recent years is seeing a man who consistently grows in wisdom, humility, and joy. He’s one of my favorite people in the world to have deep conversations with—encouraging me to think deeply—and pointing me back to Jesus continually. He’s lived out the declaration in Isaiah 6:8, a passage he loves: “Here I am! Send me.” No words can capture my gratitude for such a rare gift. 

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebr It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebrate the dad of our children. 
Men of integrity, faithfulness, wisdom, repentance, and holiness are few in this world. But where they are found, it is a joy to honor them. I praise God for the one found in my own home, relentlessly fighting to fix his eyes on Jesus and obey the call on his life to love, disciple, and shepherd his family.

I adore you, @judahcofer. Happy Father’s Day.
When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility o When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility of coming to TGCW with her (and a nearly immediate “do it” from my husband) I was thrilled. Hands down, my favorite part was the hours and hours of time with this dear friend. It was so sweet to meet *so* many Instagram faces in-person, hear lots of messages, buy books, and drink a good deal of coffee. 

Now it’s off to my husband and little people. As they say, there’s no place like home. 💕

Until next time, Indy!
Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely neglected spot in our yard. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a little blanket of a particular weed beginning to grow, but decided to leave it to work on something else, convincing myself it could pass as nice ground-cover while I worked on “more important” projects. 

But a couple days ago I noticed it no longer passed as ground cover.😅

As I tugged at the multitude of weeds, I pondered how unassuming and rather pretty it looks when it’s small. Whimsical, white flowers bloom along it’s vine-y tendrils. But as it grows it slowly takes over everything. It wraps itself around branches and stems, making it difficult to distinguish which is which. If you take a close look at it, it’s very structure is twisted—growing to overpower and overtake.

How like sin these little weeds are—so often seeming harmless and even a delight to the eye. We let it be, thinking it can pass as part of the scenery of our lives. But it’s whole intention is to overtake. It slowly-yet-steadily wraps itself around whatever it can get ahold of, effecting every aspect of our lives. And eventually it’ll choke the life out of us.

No matter how innocent or appealing sin appears, it needs to be dealt with like these weeds: done away with. Given no room to flourish. Pulled up by the root and tossed out with the trash. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us tending these sins, or at least tolerating them. He knows that any inch we give to sin it will take a mile, keeping us from flourishing in the abundant life of Christ we’ve been given. 

Praise God for His grace that gives us the ability to say no to sin, to deal with it ruthlessly. Apart from Him we are slaves to our sin with no hope of freedom—no desire, even, for a life outside the bondage of death. What mercy, what love found in Jesus who died to free us from “the sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12). 

May any facade of beauty that sin might hold wither in the face of His glory.
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#lookingtoJesus #weeding #ponderings #Christcenteredwomanhood
“Lord, tether my dreams to reality.” This has “Lord, tether my dreams to reality.”

This has been a prayer I’ve continually lifted as of late.

I, as most do, have passions and interests that fall outside my family and home sphere. I have “one day” pursuits I feel quite strongly about. And the temptation can sometimes be to skimp in the “already here” and put my best efforts into those other desires (which are good things in-and-of themselves).

But here’s the reality: 

• I have one life to live. What I choose today matters.

• God’s priorities for me are worth pursuing with my whole heart, regardless of the messages the world (and sometimes my own heart) shouts at me. Why? Because He’s my Creator and only He gets to say what’s best for my life.

• My God-given priorities *today* include (but are not limited to) loving my husband and raising, training, teaching, loving, nurturing, and protecting five little people He’s entrusted to me. I alone have been granted the privilege of being called “Mommy” by these children, and “wife” of this precious man. Any other pursuits in this season must strengthen—not hinder—these callings. And, I might add, these 6 people are a dream come true.

• Some of those future dreams/pursuits are dependent on my faithfulness here and now. Why? Because every choice today is a seed planted, a stone laid. What will these say about me 20 years from now?

• I ultimately don’t want anything other than what God wants for me. He has the right and ability to change my course as He sees fit. If He chooses to allow those other dreams to come to fruition in His time and way I’ll be thrilled. But if He takes them away, blessed be His name. 

Tethered dreams have time to mature, deepen, be refined or even changed completely with age. Tethered dreams recognize that I can’t see the beginning from the end. Tethered dreams are safe with the One who can.

Lord, tether my dreams to reality.
Your reality.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and “The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” - G. K. Chesterton

The moral fabric of our society is being shredded to pieces right before our eyes, and the attack on the family is right at the heart of it.

Is there anything more counter-cultural we can do than hold fast to God’s design for family—a husband and wife covenanting to one another until death, bearing and raising children for the glory of God? I doubt it. This seemingly simple stand is being showered with fiery darts. The enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for believers to cave to the pressures and lies of society.

But by God’s grace, we can hold fast to this now-radical, Christ-honoring view of husbands, wives, and children. It might feel insignificant at times. But I have a feeling this obedience in regard to God’s design family is accomplishing far more than we’ll ever know this side of eternity.
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#lookingtoJesus #family #husbandsandwives #children #childrenareagift
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