Heather Cofer

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True Strength

4 Jun

I was standing in our kitchen, looking out the window into the yard at the bare trees. The early morning light was flooding through, highlighting the edges of my windowsill succulents. But I wasn’t thinking so much about the sunlight. I was trying to keep panic and fear from overwhelming my heart and mind.

We were into day four or five of influenza with all four of our kids. On top of sleepless nights, multiple trips to urgent care and the ER, my husband was out of town. I was exhausted, emotional, and scared for my kids who had soaring temperatures and wracking coughs that just didn’t want to relent. I leaned against the counter, head down, fighting tears, praying, “God, I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this. I need Judah home. I can’t go on much longer.” And in that moment, the Lord gently spoke to my heart: Judah needs a strong woman, Heather. Your kids need a strong mother. And I’ve given you what you need to be strong.

There were still more tough days to come, but I felt as if iron had been infused into my soul. My body showed signs of the stress, fighting hard against panic attacks. But time after time, as I could feel my vision blurring and breath becoming short, I would literally say to myself, “No. I have a job to do, and you, anxiety, have no place here.” And as quickly as they would come, they would dissipate. I was seeing firsthand God’s close, real, all-sufficient strength in the midst of some of my greatest physical, emotional, and mental weakness.

I don’t think words can describe the relief I felt when Judah came home and the kids started improving. But the Lord used that short season of intense trial to teach me things I wouldn’t trade for anything. He showed me on a deeper level what it looks like to be a strong woman–His kind of strong.

It’s something I’ve been thinking of often since then. The world is constantly talking about strong women. I see it all over the place. Some of their definitions of strong womanhood are good. Others… not so much. But so many of the lines are blurred here. As Christian women, how do we discern what we should embrace and what we shouldn’t? It all goes back to the source of the strength, and how we define it.

You know, strong womanhood is actually God’s idea. He’s the One who created women to be strong. Proverbs 31:10 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies.” The word “virtuous” there in Hebrew means: strength. But His version of strong looks so, so different than the world.

God defines strength as being humble (Jas 4:6); as someone who serves (Mar 9:35) Someone who forgives (Col 3:13). A strong woman submits to God’s authority structure (1 Pet 1:3; Heb 13:17). A strong woman is gentle (1 Pet 3:4). A strong woman is diligent (Prov. 31:13). A strong woman cares for the needy (Prov 31:20). A strong woman considers others’ needs more important than her own (Phil 2:3). A strong woman is teachable (Prov 19:20). A strong woman speaks the truth in love (Eph 4:15). A strong woman “turns the other cheek” (Matt 5:39). A strong woman allows her emotions to come under the reign of the Spirit, exercising self-control over them (2 Tim 1:7). A strong woman acknowledges when she is wrong (Jas 5:16). A strong woman isn’t ruled by anxiety (Phil 6:6). And a strong woman knows that her strength actually comes not from herself, but from her God–she it’s the Holy Spirit who, in our weakness, is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

The world wants us to buy into the notion that we are enough in and of ourselves–that strong women do what makes them happy, and don’t bend to anyone else’s desires. The world screams that proud women are the strong ones, that women who cast off the “shackles of authority” and pursue their own dreams regardless of the consequences are the ones we should be following. The world’s version of “strong” is all about self–putting self first over everything and everyone else.

But friend, let’s not buy it. True strength isn’t serving ourselves–It’s serving and loving the King of Kings and those He puts in our paths. True strength is found in surrendering ourselves to the purposes and power of a Heavenly Father who has an eternal view, and knows exactly how best to use us in His grand, beautiful story. When we allow Him to make us strong, He comes in and transforms us into radiant, confident, kind, loving, bold, fearless women who are on mission for Him. And there truly is no better way to live.

Your friend,

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Comments

  1. Lois Horst says

    July 6, 2019 at 11:00 am

    This is so on point and refreshing! Thank you for your words Heather.

    Reply
    • Heather says

      July 7, 2019 at 4:17 pm

      So thankful to hear that!

      Reply

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Some reminders I’m repeating to myself today: . Some reminders I’m repeating to myself today:
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🪴My hope is in Christ alone
🪴”Small” obedience matters
🪴Just do the next thing in faith
🪴Truth > feelings
🪴Live peacefully, quietly, dignified, and godly
🪴What I need is not primarily what Jesus can give, but Jesus Himself
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#ponderings #reminders #lookingtoJesus #livefaithfully #truth #Christcenteredliving
“When we acknowledge our inability to mother our “When we acknowledge our inability to mother our children apart from the Lord’s provision and strength, we honor God. Of course we are not able to do this work of raising children and training them in the instruction of the Lord. That’s why we desperately need the Lord!” - Gloria Furman, ‘Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full’
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Too often I fall prey to the lie that it’s up to me alone to mother my children well for God’s glory, and that He looks on in disapproval as I make foibles and need to repent yet again for impatience or laziness. But what hope, what joy that God is honored when we acknowledge that we cannot do this job apart from Him. He is the source of our wisdom and grace for motherhood, and it is in our weakness His strength is shown to be perfect (2 Cor. 12:9). God is ready at every moment to draw near to us as we draw near to Him, acknowledging our lack. He delights to supply all we need with Himself.
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#motherhood #Christcenteredmotherhood #lookingtoJesus #childrenareagift
For many years my grandparents’ house has been c For many years my grandparents’ house has been called Peace Cottage. It’s a name that truly reflects the atmosphere of their home; a place of rest and refreshment for all who enter as they are loved and served by Spirit-filled saints (and believe me, there have been countless people ministered to within those walls).
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This has been our vision and prayer for our own home: to cultivate an environment ruled by the peace of Christ, in turn refreshing all who enter. Several years ago as we considered names for our home, we thought, “what could be better than being an extension of the home that has set such an amazing example for us?” So we asked my grandparents if we could call our home Peace Cottage Windsor.
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It is an immense privilege to be a part of the Peace Cottage heritage. We pray we will be as faithful as those who have walked before us.
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#peacecottage #peacecottagewindsor #hospitality #Christcenteredhome #Christcenteredfamily
This dear, dear friend is off on a new adventure o This dear, dear friend is off on a new adventure of obedience to Jesus. I’ve known her longer than 3 of my kids, and they’ve never known life without “Buddy.” How we are going to miss you.
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You’ve blessed us in more ways than we can count, and your friendship is an incredibly precious gift. I know the Lord will use you to advance His kingdom wherever He calls you. You’ll always have a special place in the Cofer house fam. 💕
Have you ever gotten that funny feeling something Have you ever gotten that funny feeling something is off? When someone you’ve read, followed, and respected for a while seems not as “right on” as you thought, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? It’s not that they’ve totally turned away from God or don’t still say lots of things that are true, but there’s an internal twinge that makes it a little harder to fully get behind them.
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As I’ve wrestled with this more and more, praying over it, reading Scripture, and talking with others, it seems (at least in part) to be this: everything begins to revolve around a theme/cause/platform other than Christ. It might be something good that Christians should care about, but it slowly shifts from being an overflow of their love for Christ to being what their life becomes all about. Jesus is used as a tool for them to support their cause rather than their main emphasis; their All in All.
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None of us are immune to this deception. And that is why it is eternally important that we always, *always* make the Word of God our highest authority. If it becomes us against the Bible in even the “tiniest” way, the Bible must win every time. If we find ourselves trying to contort passages to fit our point of view, we are the ones who are off.
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As Christians, may our lives wholly revolve around and be built upon Christ, because this is our only true hope in life and death.
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#ponderings #lookingtoJesus #Jesusplusnothing #truth #Scripture
We live in a world that largely devalues children, We live in a world that largely devalues children, especially those that are in the womb. And the more children you have, the crazier you are seen by others. The first child is usually celebrated with baby showers and elaborate gender reveals, but the fifth child? I know that some people will actually feel sorry for me.
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But as Christians, we need to start being intentional about declaring how precious children are, whether they are the first or 10th. Every single person who enters this world has been made by God with a purpose. No child is an accident to God, regardless of whether they were planned for. Not only should this be reflected in our attitude, but also in our words. The kiddos in our lives (whether our own or others) should be talked *about* and *to* as valued, loved, and wanted. We need to stop with the jokes that would make their little hearts wonder if they are a mistake. And when a new little person is preparing to make their way into the family, our other children should see this as a wonderful thing by the way we talk about it.
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Every child is a gift. I want all children I have and interact with to know that through my attitude and words.
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#expectantbook #pregnancy #Christcenteredpregnancy #motherhood #childrenareagift
For the past few years I’ve had a word or phrase For the past few years I’ve had a word or phrase for the year, and each time I’ve marveled at how perfectly they have summed up what I needed to learn or focus on. As I was thinking and praying about a theme for 2021, there was one word that kept coming to mind: hope.
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At first I kept mentally pushing it aside, wanting something that was more unique or creative. But when I paused to ponder this word a bit more, it became very clear that this would be the right word for 2021.
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We need to be reminded again and again where true hope lies: in Jesus. It can be tempting to place our hope in a new year (especially after 2020), in our goals and dreams, in other people, in experiences, or anything else. But at some point these will all fall short. Jesus is the only one who will never fail us. He is our Living Hope, our Risen King who conquered death and redeemed us from it. No matter what is ahead—good or bad—in this year or this life, we have a perfect eternity awaiting us in His presence. We can’t see it all now, but one day it will all be sight.
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“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” - Romans 8:24-25
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Friends, because Jesus is our hope the best is yet to come.
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#hope #2021 #lookingtoJesus #livinghope #Jesusplusnothing #Christcenteredlife
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