Heather Cofer

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The Gift of Repentance

4 Sep

It was late one night while my husband and I were getting ready for bed. As I went through the motions of brushing my teeth and washing my face, I was bemoaning to him that I felt like I was functioning from underlying frustration in everything, especially toward our kids. It’s been a bit of a tough and crazy season, and that makes it extra easy to blame this frustration on outside circumstances… which is pretty much what I was doing.

Judah quietly listened, and then said, “I think one thing contributing to the problem is…” And he proceeded to tell me what he thought the underlying sin issue might be. Oh boy. Do you know that feeling when defensiveness bubbles up, tightening your chest and causing all sorts of yucky excuses to want to tumble from your lips? Well, that’s exactly what I started feeling. I wanted to open my mouth and let all of them loose. 

Now, this summer has been an intense one. Extra busyness, health problems, and difficulty sleeping have added to the bait for frustration for sure. But when Judah made his observation, I felt that familiar twinge of conviction – I knew he was right. I knew I could either block it out and justify it with all sorts of reasonable-sounding excuses, or I could silence my pride and admit that there was truth to what he was saying. And, I’ve had enough experience to know that although the option of repentance stings a lot more at first, it’s ultimately the path to freedom and growth and relief from that “sin that so easily entangles” (Heb 12:1). And I knew that I would 100% regret choosing the other option over this one.

I paused, pushed away all the pride and yucky excuses and said, “You’re right. I think that’s playing a part in this.” We spent time praying together before falling asleep, and in the morning I could tell there was a change; a lightness in my soul. The day played out so differently than other recent ones had. My attitude toward my children was different. My attitude toward the household work was different. My attitude toward unexpected messes and tantrums was different. And I knew it was because repentance had opened up that pathway of grace that had been blocked by unconfessed sin. Oh, it was a glorious feeling! 

I’m sad to say it often takes me too long to come to that place of life-giving repentance. I make subconscious excuses for my sin far too easily; often without even realizing it. Anger, bitterness, self-pity, spending too much time on my phone… whatever it is. The very thing that’s hurting me and making my life harder is the very thing I don’t want to let go of. It begins to affect other things, too. I become more critical of and less gracious toward others, I become increasingly self-centered and discontent, I feel the joy draining from me and leaving a sense of “blah-ness” in its place. 

a Choice

When God opens my eyes to the sin that’s causing harm to myself and others, I have a choice. I can continue to hug it to myself and allow it’s poisonous tendrils to keep wreaking havoc, or I can confess the sin and turn away from it. The Greek word used for repent in Scripture means simply “to change one’s mind.”1 And it’s because of Jesus’s death, burial, and resurrection that I have the ability to do just that.

Repentance is an incredible gift Believers have been given through Jesus. Apart from Him, it’s impossible to be free of sin – eternally and hopelessly stuck in it. Jesus died to give us the gift of freedom from sin! Freedom for all eternity, and the ability for that freedom to begin now. Although we’ll never be perfect this side of heaven, we can be made more and more into the image of Jesus today and every day until we see Him face-to-face as we allow His Spirit to transform us (Colossians 3:10). We can live in the incredible, joyful reality that comes from being set free from the power of sin and death (Romans 8:2). 

What a tragedy it is when this gift is spurned – when we as followers of Jesus cling to the very sin that He died to free us from. I don’t know about you, but I know one thing that often tries to keep me from repenting of sin is pride. I don’t want to admit I’m wrong. In my flesh I don’t want to acknowledge that I have faults and weaknesses. But it’s in humbling myself, acknowledging my sin and allowing the searing light of the gospel to expose and transform it it that brings freedom, joy, rest, and peace in the only place they can truly be found: in Jesus.

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” Psalm 51:17

“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

God is so gracious and patient. He continues to pursue us, to convict us for the sake of the indescribable joy of becoming more and more like Him. He forgives us over and over again, even after thousands of failures, rebellion, and blind spots. And the more we get to know Him – experiencing for ourselves the wonder of His love on ever-deepening levels –  the more quickly we want to be free of anything that would keep us from experiencing intimacy with Him. 
Martin Luther said, “When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ‘Repent,’ he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.”2 Repentance sets Christians apart. It truly is a gift we’ve been given to be able to turn from our sin by God’s empowering grace. And it’s one I want to fully and joyfully embrace until the day I see Jesus face-to-face.

Your Friend,

1 https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G3340&t=ESV
2 https://www.azquotes.com/author/9142-Martin_Luther/tag/repentance

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As I watch the happenings in this world I have an As I watch the happenings in this world I have an ever-increasing ache—a yearning—to be known first and foremost by my allegiance to Jesus Christ.

As I read headlines, hot takes, opinions, debates between fellow believers—praying and seeking to learn and discern—I’m more certain than ever that being a Christian frees us from being defined by or confined to earthly labels in our stances on any given issue. We’re free to champion what God champions, to despise what God despises regardless of how it might be viewed by those around us or what political lines it might cross. We’re free to love those who differ from us, and yes, even free to love those who do us wrong. 

I have strong opinions and thoughts about certain issues—no doubt about it. I disagree with certain thoughts or opinions fellow believers hold. But what I want those brothers and sisters to know about me *first* is that I love them, not how I might disagree with them. Yes, there’s a place to discuss, to sharpen one another, to exhort and encourage, to warn and even to rebuke at times when we see fellow believers straying from Christ. But the world is supposed to know us by our love for each other, not our debates and conflicts. This should temper the “what,” “how,” and “when” of every conversation. 

Some of us are called to stand more publicly against certain evils and injustices than others. We should expect the best of those who aren’t doing or saying exactly what we’re doing or saying (*especially* if we’re defining them by their lack of words on social media. There are faithful Christians who will never say a word about current issues online, but are obeying in word and deed in their in-person spheres). That said, this should *never* be used as an excuse to neglect the actions and words that every Christ-follower must be marked by according to Scripture. And when we find ourselves hesitating to obey any of God’s commands due to another allegiance something needs to change.

Lord, may your people be defined not by causes, but by Christ; not by worldly labels, but by you alone.
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#lookingtoJesus #thegospelchangeseverything #Christcenteredwomanhood
I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant the past few days. I snipped and propagated it from a stunning outdoor hanging plant we had a couple years ago after it scorched in the intense CO sun. After weeks of daily watching I finally saw the roots appear, and replanted it. Fuchsia is special to me, because it’s one of the plants that beautified our windowsills in Mongolia throughout our years there. I love having one in our home.

Recently, though, did a little trimming of this plant. I noticed there were a couple of overly flourishing sprigs; they were so long they were keeping the little plant from filling out. So, as much as I hated to do it, I clipped them off. To my delight, brand new leaves began appearing within days all over the plant.

Why has this been on my mind?  Because it reminded me that sometimes—in order for us to flourish—we need to clip back areas in our lives that are zapping growth. It’s often a painful decision, because they’re usually pastimes or vocations we love. But we know in order to direct time and energy toward our God-given priorities we need to do a little clipping of those gangly offshoots. Although we feel bare for a time, it doesn’t take long for the evidence of growth and life to show itself where it was much needed. 

And guess what? Those clipped offshoots are sitting in a jar in the kitchen, waiting to sprout new roots. They aren’t gone forever, just being prepped to produce life rather than zap it. Sometimes branches do need to be clipped and tossed. Other times they just need to be propagated—waiting for new roots to grow so they can grow and flourish at the right time in the right way.

“Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:2
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#lookingtoJesus #plants #Christcenteredwomanhood #fuchsia #ponderings #lessonseverywhere
//Well, it’s all an adventure That comes with a //Well, it’s all an adventure
That comes with a breathtaking view
Walking a tightrope
With you//

The incredible @frostedphotographer took some headshots for us, and she said, “Do you want to snap a few together?” Yes, please. 😍😍😍

Forever thankful for the gift of a life adventure with this man.
//Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, Su //Summer and winter and
springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their
courses above,
Join with all nature in 
manifold witness
to Thy great faithfulness,
mercy, and love//
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#greatisthyfaithfulness #lookingtoJesus #springtime
“Being like Jesus” will never contradict the r “Being like Jesus” will never contradict the rest of Scripture.

Several times as of late I’ve read or heard examples of people using stories of Jesus from the gospels to back up an argument about accepting sin of some kind. They say that if His followers are going to be like Him they need to follow His example—His example by their interpretation, that is.

But the narratives told of Jesus in the Gospels will *never* contradict the specific commands Christ-followers are given in the rest of the New Testament. Jesus never justified a sin we’re commanded to repent of. A sinful attitude never laced His words, no matter how matter-of-fact His rebukes were. Jesus is the Word made flesh. He will never go against His character or commands for His people.

We can be hard-line on sin while being gentle and kind. We can show compassion without compromising truth. We can be loving while holding fast to biblical convictions. We can, and we must.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Changing Him in any way for our own gain—whether that’s for fleshly gratification or out of fear of others—is making a Jesus in our image. This is a Jesus who cannot save. 

But we have a Jesus who *can* save, who needs no re-making. May we, by His grace, be ever-conforming to Him.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood #Christcenteredliving #truth #love #Jesusislife
“Only God Himself fully appreciates the influenc “Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.” 
-Billy Graham

I know without a doubt this is true of my mom. This side of heaven I’ll have no idea what depths her godly influence and faithfulness has had upon me as a wife, mom, and woman in any sphere. I will never forget her telling us, “I’m so thankful I get to spend my days with you.” To have the assurance we were loved and enjoyed on top of all she did for our physical needs was a priceless gift. And, as I prepared to enter into adulthood she not only mentored me, but invited me into friendship with her. There aren’t words to sum up that kind of honor.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thank you for being willing to love and follow Jesus in whatever He’s asked of you. There is nothing greater you could’ve given to us. I love you.
“My frame was not hidden from you, when I was be “My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:15-16

At the end of every baby book I make for my kids I include a picture of their ultrasound next to a picture of them at a year old. I want them to have no doubt that they have been loved dearly from the moment we found out about them, before we could see them with our own eyes. I want them to know that their lives are gifts, and always have been. I want them to know that every bit of morning sickness, every ache and pain, every labor and delivery, every sleepless night, every urgent care trip, every tear shed, every penny spent, every pursuit that’s been put on hold, every extra mess, every lingering effect on my body are beyond worth it for the privilege of being their mama. For the kiddos who were a surprise to us, I want them to know God knew infinitely better than we did the timing for another child, filling our lives with delight. I want to combat any lie that the enemy and the world that would tell them they’re an inconvenience, a hindrance, a “Plan B,” with assurances of my love and—more importantly—God’s love and perfect plan for them.

I want my children to know I wouldn’t trade them for any career, any worldly accolades, any convenience, any fortune, any temporary ease. They have been used by God as tools to reveal and root out sin, to flood my weakness with the grace of God, to increase my joy. 

On this Mother’s Day weekend, I just want to say: thank you, Lord, for the undeserved gift of my children.
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#gratefulmama #mothersday #childrenareagift #fearfullyandwonderfullymade
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