Heather Cofer

  • Home
  • About
  • Recommendations
  • Products
  • Book

Hospitable Together – Making Service a Family Mission

14 Nov

“We’re going to be a blessing to this family.”

Those were words I heard so many times growing up. Almost every week we had at least one family come over for dinner, often more. My mom would prepare a meal, usually with food items that were difficult to find in Mongolia so it would be extra special for the family joining us. As amazing smells filled our home and we scurried around picking up the last few toys just minutes before our guests arrived, we would hear the reminder from my parents: we were all called to bless those entering into our home. Hospitality wasn’t just my parents’ calling – it was ours, too. Because of that, all eight of us kids learned to embrace a lifestyle of serving people inside the walls of our home. It wasn’t a burden to us, it was a joy.

Now I’m a wife and mom with four busy little people of our own, and I have a greater appreciation than ever before the kind of effort and intentionality it takes not only to practice hospitality, but also to bring the whole family into it. Judah and I sense a significant calling to practice hospitality as a regular part of our lives, just like both of our parents did and continue to do.

However, it can be tempting in these early years when the kids are little to justify not practicing hospitality. Because, well, it takes extra work. It takes being willing to make a meal when I would rather just heat up leftovers. It takes being willing to clean the bathrooms when I would’ve let them go a few more days. It takes letting go of a free evening to invest in others. It takes extra training of our kiddos in loving others who enter our home. 

But, if we said no to hospitality in this season of life simply because of those things, the motive would be selfishness. I want our children to learn that loving and serving others in the name of Jesus is a high and holy privilege, and the extra work is 100% worth it. 

“I want our children to learn that loving and serving others in the name of Jesus is a high and holy privilege…”

Of course there are times to “Come away… and rest a while” (Mark 6:31). And for those of us who struggle with saying correct “no’s” *raises hand* it can be easy to commit to things that God isn’t asking of us. This leads to burnout that could’ve been avoided if we had been more attentive to God’s voice rather than just wanting to look like we can do it all. We’ve been created with limits, and we need to be able to rest when it’s time to rest, not feeling guilty when it’s done for the right reasons. And, when we do rest appropriately, we’ll be even more prepared to love our families and all those who God asks us to minister to. Our children need to learn correct service and correct rest by watching our lives. 

My children need to know they aren’t a hindrance to showing hospitality. Yes, in the season when they are young it may look different than before they came or once they’re older. But if they become the excuse for me not stepping out in faith to do what God asks of me, what will that teach them? Sure, it takes more effort to clean a home and prepare food with little hands trying to pull Tupperware out of cabinets or needing to stop every few minutes to instruct them. But God says that children are strength (Psalm 127:4). And when He asks me to have children and practice hospitality, He is going to grow me by His enabling grace to do every single thing He is asking of me. 

And on a bit of a side note, It’s so easy to look around and compare; subconsciously to size ourselves up against this or that mom’s service. And it either inflates us or deflates us… which causes an unsteady and volatile life. I have to remind myself over and over and over that what matters is listening to God’s call on my life. Yes, every person is called to obedience in certain things (i.e. show hospitality). But the way that is played out and to what extent is between us and God, and varies from season to season. Whenever I fall prey to measuring my life against others, I become anxious, snappy, discouraged, prideful, and self-conscious. But when I’m resting in the Lord, knowing that I’m doing exactly what He’s called us to, those wrong things are replaced with peace, joy, and rest in Him. 

I’m so thankful that God enables us as moms to continue to be a part of His plan to bless others in His name, and that we have the privilege of bringing our children into it with us. Boy, does it take wisdom and grace only God can give. But He gives it abundantly. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3) 

How do we gain what we need to live a life of obedience? By knowing God. When our eyes are fixed on Jesus, we see clearly where and how He is directing us. And our lives will be marked by supernatural peace and strength that comes only from delighting in Him. 

So today, I want to be obedient, whatever that looks like. And, I pray that God will grow that vision for the beauty of Christ-centered service in the hearts of my children as they watch God grow it in me, too.

Your friend,

Previous Post: « Motherhood: A Call to Radical Selflessness
Next Post: Watching Suffering, Seeing Jesus »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sheila says

    November 14, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    Beautiful Heather! I echo every thing you said! My husband and I have really felt like this is something we need to do as well, and we do it every weekend we are home but the thing that you said that caught my attention was “I want our children to learn that loving and serving others in the name of Jesus is a high and holy privilege, and the extra work is 100% worth it. ” Blessing on you and Judah!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      November 14, 2019 at 9:48 pm

      That is so neat! Showing hospitality as a family is so precious. Thank you for your kind words. Blessing on your family as well!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe

Recent Posts

  • Invisible Illness, The Fear of Man, and the God Who Sees
  • Not So Simple
  • Musings from a Decade
  • Postpartum Encouragement Part 3: Emotional Preparation
  • The Birth Story of Jack Lewis Cofer

Archives

  • April 2022
  • December 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • May 2021
  • April 2021
  • March 2021
  • February 2021
  • December 2020
  • November 2020
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019

Categories

  • Christian Living
  • Christian Womanhood
  • Expectant
  • Guest Post
  • Life Stewardship
  • Marriage
  • Missions
  • Motherhood
  • Products
  • Resources
  • Uncategorized

Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Latest on Instagram

As I watch the happenings in this world I have an As I watch the happenings in this world I have an ever-increasing ache—a yearning—to be known first and foremost by my allegiance to Jesus Christ.

As I read headlines, hot takes, opinions, debates between fellow believers—praying and seeking to learn and discern—I’m more certain than ever that being a Christian frees us from being defined by or confined to earthly labels in our stances on any given issue. We’re free to champion what God champions, to despise what God despises regardless of how it might be viewed by those around us or what political lines it might cross. We’re free to love those who differ from us, and yes, even free to love those who do us wrong. 

I have strong opinions and thoughts about certain issues—no doubt about it. I disagree with certain thoughts or opinions fellow believers hold. But what I want those brothers and sisters to know about me *first* is that I love them, not how I might disagree with them. Yes, there’s a place to discuss, to sharpen one another, to exhort and encourage, to warn and even to rebuke at times when we see fellow believers straying from Christ. But the world is supposed to know us by our love for each other, not our debates and conflicts. This should temper the “what,” “how,” and “when” of every conversation. 

Some of us are called to stand more publicly against certain evils and injustices than others. We should expect the best of those who aren’t doing or saying exactly what we’re doing or saying (*especially* if we’re defining them by their lack of words on social media. There are faithful Christians who will never say a word about current issues online, but are obeying in word and deed in their in-person spheres). That said, this should *never* be used as an excuse to neglect the actions and words that every Christ-follower must be marked by according to Scripture. And when we find ourselves hesitating to obey any of God’s commands due to another allegiance something needs to change.

Lord, may your people be defined not by causes, but by Christ; not by worldly labels, but by you alone.
.
.
.
.
.
#lookingtoJesus #thegospelchangeseverything #Christcenteredwomanhood
I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant the past few days. I snipped and propagated it from a stunning outdoor hanging plant we had a couple years ago after it scorched in the intense CO sun. After weeks of daily watching I finally saw the roots appear, and replanted it. Fuchsia is special to me, because it’s one of the plants that beautified our windowsills in Mongolia throughout our years there. I love having one in our home.

Recently, though, did a little trimming of this plant. I noticed there were a couple of overly flourishing sprigs; they were so long they were keeping the little plant from filling out. So, as much as I hated to do it, I clipped them off. To my delight, brand new leaves began appearing within days all over the plant.

Why has this been on my mind?  Because it reminded me that sometimes—in order for us to flourish—we need to clip back areas in our lives that are zapping growth. It’s often a painful decision, because they’re usually pastimes or vocations we love. But we know in order to direct time and energy toward our God-given priorities we need to do a little clipping of those gangly offshoots. Although we feel bare for a time, it doesn’t take long for the evidence of growth and life to show itself where it was much needed. 

And guess what? Those clipped offshoots are sitting in a jar in the kitchen, waiting to sprout new roots. They aren’t gone forever, just being prepped to produce life rather than zap it. Sometimes branches do need to be clipped and tossed. Other times they just need to be propagated—waiting for new roots to grow so they can grow and flourish at the right time in the right way.

“Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:2
.
.
.
.
#lookingtoJesus #plants #Christcenteredwomanhood #fuchsia #ponderings #lessonseverywhere
//Well, it’s all an adventure That comes with a //Well, it’s all an adventure
That comes with a breathtaking view
Walking a tightrope
With you//

The incredible @frostedphotographer took some headshots for us, and she said, “Do you want to snap a few together?” Yes, please. 😍😍😍

Forever thankful for the gift of a life adventure with this man.
//Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, Su //Summer and winter and
springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their
courses above,
Join with all nature in 
manifold witness
to Thy great faithfulness,
mercy, and love//
.
.
.
.
.
#greatisthyfaithfulness #lookingtoJesus #springtime
“Being like Jesus” will never contradict the r “Being like Jesus” will never contradict the rest of Scripture.

Several times as of late I’ve read or heard examples of people using stories of Jesus from the gospels to back up an argument about accepting sin of some kind. They say that if His followers are going to be like Him they need to follow His example—His example by their interpretation, that is.

But the narratives told of Jesus in the Gospels will *never* contradict the specific commands Christ-followers are given in the rest of the New Testament. Jesus never justified a sin we’re commanded to repent of. A sinful attitude never laced His words, no matter how matter-of-fact His rebukes were. Jesus is the Word made flesh. He will never go against His character or commands for His people.

We can be hard-line on sin while being gentle and kind. We can show compassion without compromising truth. We can be loving while holding fast to biblical convictions. We can, and we must.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Changing Him in any way for our own gain—whether that’s for fleshly gratification or out of fear of others—is making a Jesus in our image. This is a Jesus who cannot save. 

But we have a Jesus who *can* save, who needs no re-making. May we, by His grace, be ever-conforming to Him.
.
.
.
.
#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood #Christcenteredliving #truth #love #Jesusislife
“Only God Himself fully appreciates the influenc “Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.” 
-Billy Graham

I know without a doubt this is true of my mom. This side of heaven I’ll have no idea what depths her godly influence and faithfulness has had upon me as a wife, mom, and woman in any sphere. I will never forget her telling us, “I’m so thankful I get to spend my days with you.” To have the assurance we were loved and enjoyed on top of all she did for our physical needs was a priceless gift. And, as I prepared to enter into adulthood she not only mentored me, but invited me into friendship with her. There aren’t words to sum up that kind of honor.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thank you for being willing to love and follow Jesus in whatever He’s asked of you. There is nothing greater you could’ve given to us. I love you.
“My frame was not hidden from you, when I was be “My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:15-16

At the end of every baby book I make for my kids I include a picture of their ultrasound next to a picture of them at a year old. I want them to have no doubt that they have been loved dearly from the moment we found out about them, before we could see them with our own eyes. I want them to know that their lives are gifts, and always have been. I want them to know that every bit of morning sickness, every ache and pain, every labor and delivery, every sleepless night, every urgent care trip, every tear shed, every penny spent, every pursuit that’s been put on hold, every extra mess, every lingering effect on my body are beyond worth it for the privilege of being their mama. For the kiddos who were a surprise to us, I want them to know God knew infinitely better than we did the timing for another child, filling our lives with delight. I want to combat any lie that the enemy and the world that would tell them they’re an inconvenience, a hindrance, a “Plan B,” with assurances of my love and—more importantly—God’s love and perfect plan for them.

I want my children to know I wouldn’t trade them for any career, any worldly accolades, any convenience, any fortune, any temporary ease. They have been used by God as tools to reveal and root out sin, to flood my weakness with the grace of God, to increase my joy. 

On this Mother’s Day weekend, I just want to say: thank you, Lord, for the undeserved gift of my children.
.
.
.
.
#gratefulmama #mothersday #childrenareagift #fearfullyandwonderfullymade
Load More...
  • About Heather
  • Book
  • Recommendations
  • Products
  • Contact
  • Affiliate

Copyright © 2022 · Refined theme by Restored 316