Heather Cofer

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I Signed Up for This

23 Jan

It was one of those days where everything felt off. All day long I had been fighting just to finish one project (I don’t remember what it was… just that it was a normal task like sorting mail), and yet another mishap erupted with one of the kids. As I stood up (quite disgruntled) to go figure out the situation, I remember the words going through my mind, 

“I did not sign up for this.” 

Immediately on the tails of that thought came a waterfall of conviction. God, with a firm tap of his Shepherd’s staff, reminded me that when I said yes to motherhood, I was saying yes to everything that came along with it whether I knew it or not. I was saying yes not only to the snuggles, the coos, and the adorable antics, but to the spilled bowls of cereal, the toddler tantrums, and sleepless nights of teething. And I was saying yes to the many ways God wanted to use motherhood to reveal my own sin so that He could root it out of my heart and make me more like Him.

In that moment I had a choice to make. Either I could continue down the road to being a frustrated, joyless, grumbler of a mom, or I could choose to wholeheartedly, joyfully embrace all that comes with motherhood in the enabling grace of Jesus, and as the Apostle Paul said, “Toil for this, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.” (Colossians 1:29).

We’re constantly bombarded with messages, often glossed over with a “funny” coating, that children make life a chaotic string of miseries (just google ‘motherhood memes.’ You’ll know exactly what I’m talking about). I’ve heard pity in the voice of many-a-woman, whether it be a doctor or bank teller, when I tell them I’m a stay-at-home mom of four. “I could never do that,” has most often been the reply. 

And believe me – I’ve been a mom long enough to understand why they would be saying that… if we’re looking at it from a temporal, fleshly perspective. If I’m going to spend day-in and day-out with my children with joy, it takes an eternal perspective – a renewed and ever-sanctified heart that can only come from God.

It’s not just because of my children that motherhood has difficult moments, but also (more often than not) because of my own self-centeredness. The crayon shavings and cracker crumbs and interrupted nights and fights over trinkets cause friction when they rub against my desire for ease, for quiet, for comfort, and just plain old having things my way. So really, before facing what I signed up for in motherhood, I first need to remember what I signed up for as a follower of Christ. 

What did I say yes to when I said “Yes” to Jesus as my Lord and Savior?

I signed up for a life of obedience to my Creator and rightful Ruler. I signed up for a life of faith instead of trusting my own faulty reasoning. I signed up for having the Holy Spirit indwell me and enable me to live an otherwise impossible life. I signed up for surrender to the King of Kings, to be sanctified and smoothed and humbled and molded into a tool that is used for His glory. When I remember this, it affects every part of life including motherhood. I can so clearly see that He is using this strenuous-yet-rapturous lifework of raising children to ready me for eternity with Him. I don’t want to resist that in any way.

Yes, it’s a fight to keep an eternal perspective, and to choose to die to selfishness when my expectations aren’t met… when my energy tank is on “empty” and there are still many hours ahead to care for little hearts, minds, and bodies. But I’ve experienced God’s grace so deeply in these days of onsies and scattered legos. I’ve watched Him provide wisdom, patience, love, joy, and delight even during 3am wake-ups, after long days of training and cooking and mediating and comforting. And He is so gracious to convict me when I start buying (yet again) into the lie that I didn’t actually sign up for this. He reminds me that these children are an unimaginable gift – that they are worth losing sleep over, worth buying diapers for, worth cleaning up after, worth giving up my own desires for. Because when we sign up for the things that God says are worth signing up for, even if the world thinks we’re crazy, we will be grateful we did for all eternity.

Your friend,

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Some reminders I’m repeating to myself today: . Some reminders I’m repeating to myself today:
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🪴My hope is in Christ alone
🪴”Small” obedience matters
🪴Just do the next thing in faith
🪴Truth > feelings
🪴Live peacefully, quietly, dignified, and godly
🪴What I need is not primarily what Jesus can give, but Jesus Himself
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#ponderings #reminders #lookingtoJesus #livefaithfully #truth #Christcenteredliving
“When we acknowledge our inability to mother our “When we acknowledge our inability to mother our children apart from the Lord’s provision and strength, we honor God. Of course we are not able to do this work of raising children and training them in the instruction of the Lord. That’s why we desperately need the Lord!” - Gloria Furman, ‘Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full’
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Too often I fall prey to the lie that it’s up to me alone to mother my children well for God’s glory, and that He looks on in disapproval as I make foibles and need to repent yet again for impatience or laziness. But what hope, what joy that God is honored when we acknowledge that we cannot do this job apart from Him. He is the source of our wisdom and grace for motherhood, and it is in our weakness His strength is shown to be perfect (2 Cor. 12:9). God is ready at every moment to draw near to us as we draw near to Him, acknowledging our lack. He delights to supply all we need with Himself.
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#motherhood #Christcenteredmotherhood #lookingtoJesus #childrenareagift
For many years my grandparents’ house has been c For many years my grandparents’ house has been called Peace Cottage. It’s a name that truly reflects the atmosphere of their home; a place of rest and refreshment for all who enter as they are loved and served by Spirit-filled saints (and believe me, there have been countless people ministered to within those walls).
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This has been our vision and prayer for our own home: to cultivate an environment ruled by the peace of Christ, in turn refreshing all who enter. Several years ago as we considered names for our home, we thought, “what could be better than being an extension of the home that has set such an amazing example for us?” So we asked my grandparents if we could call our home Peace Cottage Windsor.
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It is an immense privilege to be a part of the Peace Cottage heritage. We pray we will be as faithful as those who have walked before us.
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#peacecottage #peacecottagewindsor #hospitality #Christcenteredhome #Christcenteredfamily
This dear, dear friend is off on a new adventure o This dear, dear friend is off on a new adventure of obedience to Jesus. I’ve known her longer than 3 of my kids, and they’ve never known life without “Buddy.” How we are going to miss you.
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You’ve blessed us in more ways than we can count, and your friendship is an incredibly precious gift. I know the Lord will use you to advance His kingdom wherever He calls you. You’ll always have a special place in the Cofer house fam. 💕
Have you ever gotten that funny feeling something Have you ever gotten that funny feeling something is off? When someone you’ve read, followed, and respected for a while seems not as “right on” as you thought, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? It’s not that they’ve totally turned away from God or don’t still say lots of things that are true, but there’s an internal twinge that makes it a little harder to fully get behind them.
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As I’ve wrestled with this more and more, praying over it, reading Scripture, and talking with others, it seems (at least in part) to be this: everything begins to revolve around a theme/cause/platform other than Christ. It might be something good that Christians should care about, but it slowly shifts from being an overflow of their love for Christ to being what their life becomes all about. Jesus is used as a tool for them to support their cause rather than their main emphasis; their All in All.
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This also opens the way for other voices that speak up for the same causes—but are not grounded in truth—to gain a place of influence in their lives. And slowly these voices can become an equal or greater authority than Scripture. It doesn’t happen right away. But you know it’s happening when you see subtle re-shaping of truth, you begin to hear the same language, and you begin to realize the same worldly patterns of thinking.
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None of us are immune to this deception. And that is why it is eternally important that we always, *always* make the Word of God our highest authority. If it becomes us against the Bible in even the “tiniest” way, the Bible must win every time. If we find ourselves trying to contort passages to fit our point of view, we are the ones who are off.
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As Christians, may our lives wholly revolve around and be built upon Christ, because this is our only true hope in life and death.
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#ponderings #lookingtoJesus #Jesusplusnothing #truth #Scripture
We live in a world that largely devalues children, We live in a world that largely devalues children, especially those that are in the womb. And the more children you have, the crazier you are seen by others. The first child is usually celebrated with baby showers and elaborate gender reveals, but the fifth child? I know that some people will actually feel sorry for me.
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But as Christians, we need to start being intentional about declaring how precious children are, whether they are the first or 10th. Every single person who enters this world has been made by God with a purpose. No child is an accident to God, regardless of whether they were planned for. Not only should this be reflected in our attitude, but also in our words. The kiddos in our lives (whether our own or others) should be talked *about* and *to* as valued, loved, and wanted. We need to stop with the jokes that would make their little hearts wonder if they are a mistake. And when a new little person is preparing to make their way into the family, our other children should see this as a wonderful thing by the way we talk about it.
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Every child is a gift. I want all children I have and interact with to know that through my attitude and words.
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#expectantbook #pregnancy #Christcenteredpregnancy #motherhood #childrenareagift
For the past few years I’ve had a word or phrase For the past few years I’ve had a word or phrase for the year, and each time I’ve marveled at how perfectly they have summed up what I needed to learn or focus on. As I was thinking and praying about a theme for 2021, there was one word that kept coming to mind: hope.
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At first I kept mentally pushing it aside, wanting something that was more unique or creative. But when I paused to ponder this word a bit more, it became very clear that this would be the right word for 2021.
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We need to be reminded again and again where true hope lies: in Jesus. It can be tempting to place our hope in a new year (especially after 2020), in our goals and dreams, in other people, in experiences, or anything else. But at some point these will all fall short. Jesus is the only one who will never fail us. He is our Living Hope, our Risen King who conquered death and redeemed us from it. No matter what is ahead—good or bad—in this year or this life, we have a perfect eternity awaiting us in His presence. We can’t see it all now, but one day it will all be sight.
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“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” - Romans 8:24-25
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Friends, because Jesus is our hope the best is yet to come.
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#hope #2021 #lookingtoJesus #livinghope #Jesusplusnothing #Christcenteredlife
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