Heather Cofer

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Redeemer of Our Stings

20 May
This post was written by my dear friend, Emily. I’ve been so blessed and pointed to Jesus by her life. She is also one of the contributors in my book Expectant. I know you’ll be encouraged by her words.

I sat listening to a few women in the room tell about their experience with breech birth.

Because It’s not a normal ordeal, it is naturally intriguing to hear everyone else’s story. Sometimes though, those stories (breech birth or otherwise) come with a sting.

I wanted to also share about how I myself had a breech birth… but mine would have silenced the conversation. I didn’t tell them that my 24 week old baby girl was breech when she entered the world. I could have recounted about the doctor’s comments on how she was surprisingly born in her sack, perfectly intact and that she only took one push! My heart would not have been able to keep back from telling about each precious minute we had with our daughter as she made effort to breath with her underdeveloped lungs.

I spoke nothing about the sharp pain I felt over breech births and the memories that came along with them. Some might say “Tell your story openly! You need to be honest and real!” And others may say “It is best to keep those heart memories sacred.” And I can agree with both statements. But only under one condition: Does it bring them to Jesus? 

In the last year having lost 2 babies within 9 months, it can be so hard to do life with people without running into stinging subjects. Every topic has potential to bring a reminder to your story. And everyone has a story to tell. As believers, we are commanded to do life together, displaying and exemplifying the unity and love God has within Himself! This is a high calling! How can we handle such a thing with so many different “stings” we hold within? 

Sister, you have been given a gift. Not only a new identity in Christ, a rock beneath your feet, and a salvation kept in heaven for you… but you have also been given a specific story to tell that is different than others. This is not for the purpose of getting eyes to look at you though. Your story is most beautiful when it is used like a window into seeing God’s great glory! They see Jesus more clearly in you because your life has a different “sting” than they themselves carry, and it is your opportunity to use that God-given story to point them to CHRIST. You are telling HIS story now. Not your own. Our gift – happy stories, and hard stories – are to point the world to the feet of Jesus! Don’t lose that opportunity by turning the attention to your pain or your happiness! 

“You are telling HIS story now. Not your own.”

Instead of telling all about my hurting experience with breech birth, I was able to treasure the lives of these children who I still see and will watch grow up! And, when the time is right – I also share about my breech birth to let people in and to exude the fragrance of Christ within my community. These mothers’ stories are not less or more important than mine, but they are essential. Their happy story and my hard story in unity together – tell GOD’s story. By sitting in fellowship, loving one another and caring for each other’s needs, you ignite what ONLY Jesus can do: make one. Caring for your sister may mean keeping your story close. And caring for your sister may also mean sharing your pain with others – but BOTH should cause the name of Jesus to shine in your midst. 

I ask this: Does the gospel change your life? This my friend is your proving ground – Life. Does it exemplify Jesus or does it exemplify yourself? Each stage – pregnancy, singleness, marriage, infertility, sickness… is an opportunity God has allowed you to walk through to show His great sufficiency and to build one another up in Him. What a gift! Use them well sisters, use them well. 

Emily Muckleroy is a wife and mother who seeks to see Jesus lifted up in every big and small area of life. Using the pathway of everyday life experiences, she and her husband co-write on their blog, Homemaking in Heaven. It’s purpose is to dive into all kinds of topics that exhort the body of Christ to be fixed on Jesus. They live in beautiful northern CO.

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  1. Angie says

    May 21, 2020 at 7:32 pm

    Such precious perspective. Thank you, Emily?

    Reply

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My middle-little sister, Holly, has spent the past My middle-little sister, Holly, has spent the past 6+ months in our house fam. There’s a 7 year age difference between us, so when I got married she was just entering her teen years. She lived across the world from me for a good part of the next decade, so when she decided to move up our way for a while I was thrilled. Spending hours of up-close, in-person time together has been a precious gift. Having siblings that become some of your dearest friends is, I’m discovering, one of the greatest joys of adulthood.

Now she’s off to the next chapter. I know God’s going to continue to use her to bless others in significant ways, just as she’s blessed us—this servant-hearted, joy-filled sister of mine. I’m so grateful for you, @holly_sprenger.
As I watch the happenings in this world I have an As I watch the happenings in this world I have an ever-increasing ache—a yearning—to be known first and foremost by my allegiance to Jesus Christ.

As I read headlines, hot takes, opinions, debates between fellow believers—praying and seeking to learn and discern—I’m more certain than ever that being a Christian frees us from being defined by or confined to earthly labels in our stances on any given issue. We’re free to champion what God champions, to despise what God despises regardless of how it might be viewed by those around us or what political lines it might cross. We’re free to love those who differ from us, and yes, even free to love those who do us wrong. 

I have strong opinions and thoughts about certain issues—no doubt about it. I disagree with certain thoughts or opinions fellow believers hold. But what I want those brothers and sisters to know about me *first* is that I love them, not how I might disagree with them. Yes, there’s a place to discuss, to sharpen one another, to exhort and encourage, to warn and even to rebuke at times when we see fellow believers straying from Christ. But the world is supposed to know us by our love for each other, not our debates and conflicts. This should temper the “what,” “how,” and “when” of every conversation. 

Some of us are called to stand more publicly against certain evils and injustices than others. We should expect the best of those who aren’t doing or saying exactly what we’re doing or saying (*especially* if we’re defining them by their lack of words on social media. There are faithful Christians who will never say a word about current issues online, but are obeying in word and deed in their in-person spheres). That said, this should *never* be used as an excuse to neglect the actions and words that every Christ-follower must be marked by according to Scripture. And when we find ourselves hesitating to obey any of God’s commands due to another allegiance something needs to change.

Lord, may your people be defined not by causes, but by Christ; not by worldly labels, but by you alone.
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#lookingtoJesus #thegospelchangeseverything #Christcenteredwomanhood
I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant I’ve been thinking about my little fuchsia plant the past few days. I snipped and propagated it from a stunning outdoor hanging plant we had a couple years ago after it scorched in the intense CO sun. After weeks of daily watching I finally saw the roots appear, and replanted it. Fuchsia is special to me, because it’s one of the plants that beautified our windowsills in Mongolia throughout our years there. I love having one in our home.

Recently, though, did a little trimming of this plant. I noticed there were a couple of overly flourishing sprigs; they were so long they were keeping the little plant from filling out. So, as much as I hated to do it, I clipped them off. To my delight, brand new leaves began appearing within days all over the plant.

Why has this been on my mind?  Because it reminded me that sometimes—in order for us to flourish—we need to clip back areas in our lives that are zapping growth. It’s often a painful decision, because they’re usually pastimes or vocations we love. But we know in order to direct time and energy toward our God-given priorities we need to do a little clipping of those gangly offshoots. Although we feel bare for a time, it doesn’t take long for the evidence of growth and life to show itself where it was much needed. 

And guess what? Those clipped offshoots are sitting in a jar in the kitchen, waiting to sprout new roots. They aren’t gone forever, just being prepped to produce life rather than zap it. Sometimes branches do need to be clipped and tossed. Other times they just need to be propagated—waiting for new roots to grow so they can grow and flourish at the right time in the right way.

“Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:2
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#lookingtoJesus #plants #Christcenteredwomanhood #fuchsia #ponderings #lessonseverywhere
//Well, it’s all an adventure That comes with a //Well, it’s all an adventure
That comes with a breathtaking view
Walking a tightrope
With you//

The incredible @frostedphotographer took some headshots for us, and she said, “Do you want to snap a few together?” Yes, please. 😍😍😍

Forever thankful for the gift of a life adventure with this man.
//Summer and winter and springtime and harvest, Su //Summer and winter and
springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their
courses above,
Join with all nature in 
manifold witness
to Thy great faithfulness,
mercy, and love//
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#greatisthyfaithfulness #lookingtoJesus #springtime
“Being like Jesus” will never contradict the r “Being like Jesus” will never contradict the rest of Scripture.

Several times as of late I’ve read or heard examples of people using stories of Jesus from the gospels to back up an argument about accepting sin of some kind. They say that if His followers are going to be like Him they need to follow His example—His example by their interpretation, that is.

But the narratives told of Jesus in the Gospels will *never* contradict the specific commands Christ-followers are given in the rest of the New Testament. Jesus never justified a sin we’re commanded to repent of. A sinful attitude never laced His words, no matter how matter-of-fact His rebukes were. Jesus is the Word made flesh. He will never go against His character or commands for His people.

We can be hard-line on sin while being gentle and kind. We can show compassion without compromising truth. We can be loving while holding fast to biblical convictions. We can, and we must.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life. Changing Him in any way for our own gain—whether that’s for fleshly gratification or out of fear of others—is making a Jesus in our image. This is a Jesus who cannot save. 

But we have a Jesus who *can* save, who needs no re-making. May we, by His grace, be ever-conforming to Him.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood #Christcenteredliving #truth #love #Jesusislife
“Only God Himself fully appreciates the influenc “Only God Himself fully appreciates the influence of a Christian mother in the molding of character in her children.” 
-Billy Graham

I know without a doubt this is true of my mom. This side of heaven I’ll have no idea what depths her godly influence and faithfulness has had upon me as a wife, mom, and woman in any sphere. I will never forget her telling us, “I’m so thankful I get to spend my days with you.” To have the assurance we were loved and enjoyed on top of all she did for our physical needs was a priceless gift. And, as I prepared to enter into adulthood she not only mentored me, but invited me into friendship with her. There aren’t words to sum up that kind of honor.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Thank you for being willing to love and follow Jesus in whatever He’s asked of you. There is nothing greater you could’ve given to us. I love you.
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