Heather Cofer

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Redeemer of Our Stings

20 May
This post was written by my dear friend, Emily. I’ve been so blessed and pointed to Jesus by her life. She is also one of the contributors in my book Expectant. I know you’ll be encouraged by her words.

I sat listening to a few women in the room tell about their experience with breech birth.

Because It’s not a normal ordeal, it is naturally intriguing to hear everyone else’s story. Sometimes though, those stories (breech birth or otherwise) come with a sting.

I wanted to also share about how I myself had a breech birth… but mine would have silenced the conversation. I didn’t tell them that my 24 week old baby girl was breech when she entered the world. I could have recounted about the doctor’s comments on how she was surprisingly born in her sack, perfectly intact and that she only took one push! My heart would not have been able to keep back from telling about each precious minute we had with our daughter as she made effort to breath with her underdeveloped lungs.

I spoke nothing about the sharp pain I felt over breech births and the memories that came along with them. Some might say “Tell your story openly! You need to be honest and real!” And others may say “It is best to keep those heart memories sacred.” And I can agree with both statements. But only under one condition: Does it bring them to Jesus? 

In the last year having lost 2 babies within 9 months, it can be so hard to do life with people without running into stinging subjects. Every topic has potential to bring a reminder to your story. And everyone has a story to tell. As believers, we are commanded to do life together, displaying and exemplifying the unity and love God has within Himself! This is a high calling! How can we handle such a thing with so many different “stings” we hold within? 

Sister, you have been given a gift. Not only a new identity in Christ, a rock beneath your feet, and a salvation kept in heaven for you… but you have also been given a specific story to tell that is different than others. This is not for the purpose of getting eyes to look at you though. Your story is most beautiful when it is used like a window into seeing God’s great glory! They see Jesus more clearly in you because your life has a different “sting” than they themselves carry, and it is your opportunity to use that God-given story to point them to CHRIST. You are telling HIS story now. Not your own. Our gift – happy stories, and hard stories – are to point the world to the feet of Jesus! Don’t lose that opportunity by turning the attention to your pain or your happiness! 

“You are telling HIS story now. Not your own.”

Instead of telling all about my hurting experience with breech birth, I was able to treasure the lives of these children who I still see and will watch grow up! And, when the time is right – I also share about my breech birth to let people in and to exude the fragrance of Christ within my community. These mothers’ stories are not less or more important than mine, but they are essential. Their happy story and my hard story in unity together – tell GOD’s story. By sitting in fellowship, loving one another and caring for each other’s needs, you ignite what ONLY Jesus can do: make one. Caring for your sister may mean keeping your story close. And caring for your sister may also mean sharing your pain with others – but BOTH should cause the name of Jesus to shine in your midst. 

I ask this: Does the gospel change your life? This my friend is your proving ground – Life. Does it exemplify Jesus or does it exemplify yourself? Each stage – pregnancy, singleness, marriage, infertility, sickness… is an opportunity God has allowed you to walk through to show His great sufficiency and to build one another up in Him. What a gift! Use them well sisters, use them well. 

Emily Muckleroy is a wife and mother who seeks to see Jesus lifted up in every big and small area of life. Using the pathway of everyday life experiences, she and her husband co-write on their blog, Homemaking in Heaven. It’s purpose is to dive into all kinds of topics that exhort the body of Christ to be fixed on Jesus. They live in beautiful northern CO.

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  1. Angie says

    May 21, 2020 at 7:32 pm

    Such precious perspective. Thank you, Emily💕

    Reply

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Some reminders I’m repeating to myself today: . Some reminders I’m repeating to myself today:
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🪴My hope is in Christ alone
🪴”Small” obedience matters
🪴Just do the next thing in faith
🪴Truth > feelings
🪴Live peacefully, quietly, dignified, and godly
🪴What I need is not primarily what Jesus can give, but Jesus Himself
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#ponderings #reminders #lookingtoJesus #livefaithfully #truth #Christcenteredliving
“When we acknowledge our inability to mother our “When we acknowledge our inability to mother our children apart from the Lord’s provision and strength, we honor God. Of course we are not able to do this work of raising children and training them in the instruction of the Lord. That’s why we desperately need the Lord!” - Gloria Furman, ‘Treasuring Christ When Your Hands are Full’
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Too often I fall prey to the lie that it’s up to me alone to mother my children well for God’s glory, and that He looks on in disapproval as I make foibles and need to repent yet again for impatience or laziness. But what hope, what joy that God is honored when we acknowledge that we cannot do this job apart from Him. He is the source of our wisdom and grace for motherhood, and it is in our weakness His strength is shown to be perfect (2 Cor. 12:9). God is ready at every moment to draw near to us as we draw near to Him, acknowledging our lack. He delights to supply all we need with Himself.
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#motherhood #Christcenteredmotherhood #lookingtoJesus #childrenareagift
For many years my grandparents’ house has been c For many years my grandparents’ house has been called Peace Cottage. It’s a name that truly reflects the atmosphere of their home; a place of rest and refreshment for all who enter as they are loved and served by Spirit-filled saints (and believe me, there have been countless people ministered to within those walls).
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This has been our vision and prayer for our own home: to cultivate an environment ruled by the peace of Christ, in turn refreshing all who enter. Several years ago as we considered names for our home, we thought, “what could be better than being an extension of the home that has set such an amazing example for us?” So we asked my grandparents if we could call our home Peace Cottage Windsor.
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It is an immense privilege to be a part of the Peace Cottage heritage. We pray we will be as faithful as those who have walked before us.
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#peacecottage #peacecottagewindsor #hospitality #Christcenteredhome #Christcenteredfamily
This dear, dear friend is off on a new adventure o This dear, dear friend is off on a new adventure of obedience to Jesus. I’ve known her longer than 3 of my kids, and they’ve never known life without “Buddy.” How we are going to miss you.
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You’ve blessed us in more ways than we can count, and your friendship is an incredibly precious gift. I know the Lord will use you to advance His kingdom wherever He calls you. You’ll always have a special place in the Cofer house fam. 💕
Have you ever gotten that funny feeling something Have you ever gotten that funny feeling something is off? When someone you’ve read, followed, and respected for a while seems not as “right on” as you thought, but you can’t quite put your finger on it? It’s not that they’ve totally turned away from God or don’t still say lots of things that are true, but there’s an internal twinge that makes it a little harder to fully get behind them.
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As I’ve wrestled with this more and more, praying over it, reading Scripture, and talking with others, it seems (at least in part) to be this: everything begins to revolve around a theme/cause/platform other than Christ. It might be something good that Christians should care about, but it slowly shifts from being an overflow of their love for Christ to being what their life becomes all about. Jesus is used as a tool for them to support their cause rather than their main emphasis; their All in All.
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This also opens the way for other voices that speak up for the same causes—but are not grounded in truth—to gain a place of influence in their lives. And slowly these voices can become an equal or greater authority than Scripture. It doesn’t happen right away. But you know it’s happening when you see subtle re-shaping of truth, you begin to hear the same language, and you begin to realize the same worldly patterns of thinking.
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None of us are immune to this deception. And that is why it is eternally important that we always, *always* make the Word of God our highest authority. If it becomes us against the Bible in even the “tiniest” way, the Bible must win every time. If we find ourselves trying to contort passages to fit our point of view, we are the ones who are off.
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As Christians, may our lives wholly revolve around and be built upon Christ, because this is our only true hope in life and death.
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#ponderings #lookingtoJesus #Jesusplusnothing #truth #Scripture
We live in a world that largely devalues children, We live in a world that largely devalues children, especially those that are in the womb. And the more children you have, the crazier you are seen by others. The first child is usually celebrated with baby showers and elaborate gender reveals, but the fifth child? I know that some people will actually feel sorry for me.
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But as Christians, we need to start being intentional about declaring how precious children are, whether they are the first or 10th. Every single person who enters this world has been made by God with a purpose. No child is an accident to God, regardless of whether they were planned for. Not only should this be reflected in our attitude, but also in our words. The kiddos in our lives (whether our own or others) should be talked *about* and *to* as valued, loved, and wanted. We need to stop with the jokes that would make their little hearts wonder if they are a mistake. And when a new little person is preparing to make their way into the family, our other children should see this as a wonderful thing by the way we talk about it.
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Every child is a gift. I want all children I have and interact with to know that through my attitude and words.
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#expectantbook #pregnancy #Christcenteredpregnancy #motherhood #childrenareagift
For the past few years I’ve had a word or phrase For the past few years I’ve had a word or phrase for the year, and each time I’ve marveled at how perfectly they have summed up what I needed to learn or focus on. As I was thinking and praying about a theme for 2021, there was one word that kept coming to mind: hope.
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At first I kept mentally pushing it aside, wanting something that was more unique or creative. But when I paused to ponder this word a bit more, it became very clear that this would be the right word for 2021.
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We need to be reminded again and again where true hope lies: in Jesus. It can be tempting to place our hope in a new year (especially after 2020), in our goals and dreams, in other people, in experiences, or anything else. But at some point these will all fall short. Jesus is the only one who will never fail us. He is our Living Hope, our Risen King who conquered death and redeemed us from it. No matter what is ahead—good or bad—in this year or this life, we have a perfect eternity awaiting us in His presence. We can’t see it all now, but one day it will all be sight.
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“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” - Romans 8:24-25
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Friends, because Jesus is our hope the best is yet to come.
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#hope #2021 #lookingtoJesus #livinghope #Jesusplusnothing #Christcenteredlife
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