Heather Cofer

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Book Recommendation – Comparison Girl by Shannon Popkin

9 Sep

When I first saw the title of this book, I was excited to read it since I knew that comparison is something I can struggle with. But until I picked it up and started reading, I seriously had no idea just how much I am prone to comparison. It hit me right between the eyes in the best possible way. 

Shannon does a wonderful job sharing how the life of Jesus is an example of how we ought to live. She gives so many stories of how loving and serving and putting others first helps us be “me-free,” as she puts it, which is how Jesus lived and asked His followers to live, too. It’s so very clear through her writing that this kind of living brings life and joy.

Shannon uses the analogy of a measuring cup to describe comparison, which I thought was a brilliant, well, comparison. In essence, when we are focused on the lines of our “measuring cup” of life, we’re using our energy to compare to what others have (whether “better” or “worse” than us) rather than using what we have been given to love others. But when we are more focused on pouring out for others than the “lines” on our measuring cups, we are free to love and serve others without wrong comparison. Being a word picture gal myself, this has helped me immensely when I’m tempted to compare myself to someone else. 

The book is divided into lessons, so you can read it either by yourself or with a group. 

Here are a few favorite quotes. 

“Wisdom – whether from above or below – is always saying, “You should do this.” It wants to take your hand and lead you in a direction. So how can you tell these two wisdoms apart? Here’s a clear distinction. Wisdom from below says, “You should do what’s good for you.” It leads you down the path of self-focus, self-protection, and self-promotion. But wisdom from above says, “You should not only do what’s good for you but also what is good for others.””

(pg. 36-37)

“As Comparison Girls, when we find it gratifying to look down on others’ sin with disgust, we should know that we’re sitting in Jesus’ seat (John 5:22). We’re like a preschooler, sneaking into the highest court and climbing into the world Chief Justice’s chair. The gavel is not ours, and we don’t belong. Our preschool judgements will be instantly dismissed the day Jesus – our righteous King and Judge – orders everyone out of his chair.”

(pg. 87)

“When I shift from comparing myself to celebrating others, from shifting my focus from the lines to the spout, it not only blesses my friends, it changes me. This is true at home, in my neighborhood, and church, and online. Each time I tip my measuring cup with self-forgetfulness, the lines become irrelevant … and a little more grime gets scrubbed from inside of my cup.”

(pg. 145)

This is certainly one to put on your “Must Read” list! 

You can grab a copy HERE!

Also, to learn more about Shannon and her other wonderful resources, CLICK HERE to visit her website.

Thank you, Shannon, for this gift to your sisters in Christ.

Previous Post: « Nine Years, Nine Lessons
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What joy to rest in the reality that our identity What joy to rest in the reality that our identity and worth are found in Jesus, not how well we perform.
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(Full blog post link in bio)
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#identity #perfectionism #wifehood #marriage #Christcenteredwifehood #biblicalwomanhood #lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
I’m going to take a wild guess that I’m not th I’m going to take a wild guess that I’m not the only one who fights perfectionism in wifehood. The desire to be the best wife for our husbands is a good one—it certainly should be championed, not diminished (which, sadly, happens all-too-often in our western culture). If we’re not watchful, however, that good desire to love and serve our husbands with excellence can turn into striving to find our identity in being the “perfect” wife. We can recognize this shift has happened when rather than joyfully giving of our time and energy to serve our husbands (regardless of whether he notices) we find ourselves instead working for his approval. This leaves us discouraged and disgruntled when we don’t receive the reaction we were hoping for.

When we are secure in our identity as a redeemed child of God, then—and only then—will we rightfully think about and live out our role as wife to our husband.

This week #ontheblog I’m sharing 3 ways we can fight perfectionism in wifehood. Read the full post at the link in my bio!
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#blogpost #wifehood #marriage #Christcenteredmarriage #Christianmarriage #husbandandwife #Christcenteredwomanhood #perfectionism #lookingtoJesus #family #Christcenteredwomanhood
Not much to add to that other than: I agree.👌🏻
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#quotes #faith #truth #reason
It seemed somehow fitting that the spot I often us It seemed somehow fitting that the spot I often use for pictures like this was scattered with blocks being used by a little toddler.

It can be tempting to wait to buy the flowers—to add “unnecessary” touches of beauty—until the house is spotless; until the kiddos are old enough to keep from regular milk spills, and mama has enough stamina and discipline to stay on top of her daily tasks. It feels like these touches should be a reward for empty laundry baskets and crumb-less tables.

But I want my children to know that these little years are worth being adorned with “extra” beauty. I choose not to wait until they are grown and the house is no longer filled with kiddo bits and bobs. Because the beauty of flowers and the young kiddo years are not at odds with each other. These years are precious, and when possible should be adorned with special touches like vases of fresh flowers. My children need to know that a home filled with little people is not a home devoid of beauty. Why? Because God places value on these years, on these children. And in small ways like this, I can show them that I value these years, too, and am not postponing beauty until they are grown.

Does it often need to be simple? Yes. But even simple additions like a vase of flowers can make the statement to our children and those who enter that these little years are worth being filled with “extra” loveliness.
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#motherhood #childrenareagift #family #thelittleyears #toddlers #mamahood #Christcenteredmotherhood
Melody and harmony. I was listening to a one of m Melody and harmony.

I was listening to a one of my favorite artists recently, delighting in their musical beauty. At one point the voice that usually sings harmony sang part of the melody instead, strongly and skillfully; and in that moment it dawned on me:

You have to first know a melody to sing it’s harmony.

Melody and harmony have differences in their notes, but a true harmony will enhance the melody, not fight with it. And they must work perfectly with one another—otherwise it goes from stunning to cringe-worthy in moments.

In the world today there are lots of movements and worldviews and organizations that are being proclaimed as harmonious with the melody of the Gospel (according to the Bible). In reality, though, they aren’t. Maybe if someone doesn’t truly know gospel these could pass as harmonious. Or, if someone tweaks the melody or chooses to ignore the sharp or flat notes, you could say they sound good together. Sometimes, yes, they sound like they fit for a few notes before going wonky. But those who are intent on being faithful to knowing and enhancing the melody—the *true* melody—will not be fooled. The dissonance will be apparent, even if subtle, and won’t be claimed as harmonious for long.

But those ministries and movements who *are* truly harmonious with the melody of the gospel are beautifully obvious. They are working to advance the Kingdom on earth in a way that enhances the tried and true refrain of God’s story. They do not need to tweak what the Bible says; they join with countless voices that have been singing for ages and generations past to harmonize with what always has been and always will be the most beautiful anthem of truth.

May our lives alway be in genuine harmony with the melody of the gospel.
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#pondering #truth #harmony #melody #lookingtoJesus #thegospel #Christcenteredliving #Christcenteredwomanhood #music
It’s been almost one year since the launch of th It’s been almost one year since the launch of this book—how is that possible?! It’s been a joy-filled process, and one full of learning curves. The Lord has displayed His faithfulness and kindness many times over as I’ve received encouragement and messages from those of you who have read it and been blessed by it. Praise Him!
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One of my hopes and prayers has been that there would be 1000 copies out in the world by its first birthday. It would be quite a stretch at this point, but if you’ve been considering buying this for yourself or someone else, now would be the perfect time to do so (the link is in my bio). 
Or, if you have read the book and were blessed by it, would you consider leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads? This goes a long way in helping it become more visible to expectant mamas who would be encouraged by the message in its pages (marketing is *not* my thing, guys, but my husband tells me it’s still important 😉).
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Thank you, thank you to each one of you who have bought the book, shared it with others, and left reviews. I know the Lord can be trusted to get this book into the hands of every person who need a fresh reminder to look to Him in the season of pregnancy.
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Also: stay tuned for a fun giveaway coming up to celebrate the one year mark! 🥳
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#expectant #pregnancy #Christcenteredpregnancy #expectantbook #pregnancyresource #oneyear
Purity in every sphere of life is an outflow of a Purity in every sphere of life is an outflow of a heart that has been transformed by our Savior. No rules, no self-effort can make us pure, only Jesus can. And, praise Him: He can!
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(Newest blog post ‘Love and Legalism: Reflections on “Purity Culture”’ at the link in my bio)
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#lookingtoJesus #purity #thegospelchangeseverything #purityculture #biblicalwomanhood #Christcenteredwomanhood #family #Christianfamily #love #biblicallove #sanctification #graceupongrace #Jesusplusnothing
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