Heather Cofer

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Grace-Filled Planning for the New Year

30 Dec

It was five years ago when my husband dove headlong into planning and preparing for a new year, and he was hooked.

I chuckled more than once as I watched him; surrounded by books, spending hours enthusiastically reading, going through a planning course, and filling out a corresponding planner with goals. Whenever he would catch me chuckling at him he would say, “You should do this, too!” I would quickly respond, “Nope, I’m good. This is your thing.” He is naturally a dreamer, and I am not. But a year later I found myself sitting next to him, notebook in hand, watching the same year-planning course with a lot of trepidation and a sliver of excitement.

Now, I truly love order and structure and systems; having boxes to work inside of helps me feel safe and effective. So you would think that planning and goal-setting would naturally be exciting for me. But, it’s not. It makes me nervous. And it was only recently that I was able to put words as to why. Simply said:

I am afraid of having another un-accomplished task staring me in the face as evidence that I am a failure.

Finding my worth in what I do or in how well I do it has always been a weak point for me. Although I would tell you that I believe my worth is found in Christ, I too often subconsciously default to fleshly thinking. I find myself discouraged and full of guilt when the laundry falls behind, when a flaw is found in my writing, when I have a parenting blunder, or when my husband tells me the food doesn’t have quite enough salt. But amazingly, the very thing I thought would cause more condemnation—namely goal-planning—has actually been used as a tool by God to begin transforming my mindset toward work, goals, taking risks, falling short, getting better, and not being afraid of an unfinished task. 

How so? I’ll do my very best to tell you. 

God-Centered Planning Brings Success

Proverbs 16:3 says,

“Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

As I’ve embarked on this yearly planning journey these past four years, I’ve learned more and more that wise, humble, diligent planning honors the Lord. When we do our work with the desire for God to be glorified, we will work with more excitement, more intentionality, and more joy regardless of the outcome.

Does this mean that we will always succeed in accomplishing what we set out to do? No. Often the unexpected happens, or we realize we misjudged an aspect of our planning, or God simply closes a door. But whether we end up finishing as expected or things change along the way, we will have gone so much farther than if we wander aimlessly and just “hope” to achieve something. 

I know some of us might feel a little bit gun-shy to make goals after this past year of craziness. It can be tempting to wonder what the point of planning is if everything is just going to get thrown out the window. However, when we are already in the mode of seeking to plan for God’s glory, He will help us adjust along the way to whatever curve balls come. Again, it isn’t ultimately about the outcome of our planning, but the desire to live intentionally for the glory of God. Nothing done out of love for and obedience to Him will be in vain.

Having Vision Brings Life 

Proverbs 29:18a says,

“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (KJV)

If you look at the verse in other translations, it’s quite clear it means a spiritual vision. When we have a clear vision for living for God and furthering His kingdom on earth, we will be diligent in living that out. In times when the practicals of living out that vision are unclear, we are pressed to seek the Lord more urgently which is always a good thing. And, not only will we have vision for the “big” things in life, but we will also have a vision for the daily faithfulness we are called to as believers according to Scripture. 

As a wife and mom, having a Christ-centered vision keeps my work of homemaking, discipling and caring for my children, being a faithful helper to my husband, and loving those who come through our doors purposeful. It helps get me back on track when I become lax. It reminds me that the everyday moments of life build on one another, and are all a part of impacting this world for God’s glory. So, whether it’s a goal of revamping my household chore schedule or having a reading list, or working on getting my girls in dance class, all of it can aid in my ultimate vision of living intentionally for my Savior. 

Acknowledging Weakness Brings Strength

I’ve always had a hard time allowing others to see my weaknesses, which ultimately comes down to pride. But it’s stressful and exhausting to try to hide areas of needed growth. And, when I do stare an area of weakness in the face, it often feels impossible to go about changing it, so I cop out and just say, “It is what it is.” When this mindset is allowed to remain, it trickles over into every aspect of life, from my spiritual growth to my relationships to my work and beyond. 

James 4:6 says,

“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 

I have learned that there is so much freedom in humbling myself, acknowledging my weaknesses (first to the Lord, then to others), and allowing myself to be both taught and grown. God gives us grace to receive instruction and take steps toward needed change when we are humble before Him. Humility brings freedom and joy that pride never can. 

In this learning process 2 Corinthians 12:9 has become one of my favorite verses. 

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Our weakness is the perfect place for Christ’s power to be displayed. And I’ve been learning that rather than being afraid for others to see my weakness, it becomes an opportunity to tell of His goodness, His faithfulness, and His mercy as He grows and changes me. It puts Him on the throne of my life and puts my ego in its rightful place: at His feet. This is what brings true and lasting freedom. The fear of failing loses some of its sting as I remember that there will always be abundant grace for me as I am living in repentance, being sanctified until the day I reach eternity. 

Now, your process of living intentionally and planning for what is ahead will look differently than mine. We are created in beautifully unique ways with minds that are wired a bit differently, so I don’t want to give you super specific methods on how you should go about planning for the New Year. However, I wanted to share a few simple ideas that are very helpful, and can be done very easily. 

  • Write down your goals. It’s been shown that we are far more likely to remember something when we write it down (see link to article below). Write them in a place you are likely to see them on a regular basis, whether it’s a notebook or planner, or maybe on a whiteboard. It doesn’t need to be very many – you can start with one or two that are the most important for you. It could be a habit (i.e. spending time in God’s Word every day) or it could be a specific project you want to accomplish (i.e. organize a closet). But this way they will be kept at the forefront of your mind, and you can begin to break those down and take small steps toward those things that are important to you. 
  • Share your goals with someone. If you are married, your spouse is a great person to share with. Or, for you it might be a good friend who is also working toward some goals, and you can cheer one another on in the process. It could also be a mentor who you know will hold you accountable in a loving way (especially with habit goals). Whatever your situation, ask God to show you will help you live intentionally for His glory. 
  • Consider investing in a planner. There are a myriad of options out there, with various structures that fit different personalities or goal-types. My husband and I have been using the Full Focus Planner for quite some time, and love it. I’m also using the Cultivate Power Sheets this year along with it. Take some time to do your research and figure out what might be a good fit for you. 
    I also have some friends who prefer to use a plain notebook to jot things down that they need to remember or accomplish. It’s not one-size-fits-all, and there is freedom to try new things until you find something that works well for you.

Finally, I want to leave you with a few words of encouragement. 

  • Commit your upcoming year to the Lord, and allow Him to lead you. 
  • Ask Him to show you what living intentionally looks like in your specific circumstances. 
  • Don’t be afraid to admit where you need growth, and ask God to show you how best to allow Him to grow and change you. 
  • And most importantly, seek God with all your heart. Make Him your number one goal. A truly, eternally intentional life comes from making Jesus our aim, our pursuit, and our passion. 

I am cheering you on, friend, as you step into this new year.

If this post encouraged you, would you consider sharing it so it can reach more women? Many thanks!

Article link:

https://www.lifesavvy.com/19204/why-you-remember-things-better-when-you-write-them-down/

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This past weekend Judah and I had the immense priv This past weekend Judah and I had the immense privilege of witnessing our five-year-old daughter surrender her life to the Lord.

God has used the salvation of my children to remind me of the Gospel that will never grow old, but that too often loses its wonder in my mind’s eye. What a gift that, in a world filled with evil and upheaval, God is quietly revealing that He is at work in the lives of those most precious to me.

I’m brought back to the reality of what Christ has done on our behalf, simple enough for a child to grasp, yet so profound we’ll never understand the half of it (at least not this side of heaven).

[Read the full post from my rejoicing heart at the link in my bio💕]
I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure t I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure there will be a multitude of voices today, but I’m going to chance it and add a few comments to the throng.

I’ve been seeing the argument over and over by pro-abortion advocates that we cannot be truly pro-life unless we’re personally adopting every child who is in foster care, providing childcare or tuition fees for every teen mom who chooses to keep their child, or rallying for every social cause. But this is simply not true. Can we not be against human trafficking without personally going and rescuing every single victim? Can we not think sexual assault is wrong without personally investing in every person who’s experienced it? We can and must hold fast to objective truths about right and wrong according to Scripture. When God gives us opportunities to personally give of our time, resources, and energy to love and care for those who are affected by an unexpected pregnancy—whether that’s providing diapers or adopting a child—we should wholeheartedly obey. But if what God is asking of you today is to get on your knees for those babies, mamas, and daddies who are touched by an unexpected pregnancy, remember that this is no less important. God moves when His people cry out to Him in prayer.

There is also the argument floating around that Christians talk big but act little. In other words, we aren’t actually willing to step in and help the babies we’ve wanted to protect in the womb. But if you look at the statistics that’s also false. Professing Christians are far more likely to personally invest time and resources into caring for the vulnerable than the general population (take a look at Josh Howerton’s pinned thread on Twitter as a starting place). Are there those whose lives contradict their words? Of course. God has to convict all of us of hypocrisy to one degree or another. Where we’ve failed to obey we should repent. However, we shouldn’t buy the lie that *every* Christian is failing to love the vulnerable. And, we need to remember that we’re simply responsible to do what God entrusts us with today—no more, no less. 

Lord, help your people to pray faithfully, serve faithfully, and give faithfully for your glory.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a her I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a hermeneutics class our teacher saying, “In Ezekiel 16, do you know what sin is listed first as reasons God destroyed Sodom? Pride.”

This struck me to the core. God had been doing a significant work in my life on this very thing. I’d grown up in a Christian home, been a rule-follower, and truly did love Jesus from a young age. That said, it was hard for me to grasp the depth of my sinfulness. I didn’t have a “past” and I’d never been a trouble-maker. But in my early 20’s I began to feel an increasing desperation to know and love Jesus more. As I pressed into Him I sensed Him speaking to my heart: 

“If you want your love for me to grow you need to see what you’ve been saved from.” 

He began exposing the depth of pride and filthy self-righteousness I’d viewed as lesser evils. It was so painful, but so freeing at the same time. I knew I was no better than those who’d committed the vilest atrocities, equally in need of the blood of Christ to “cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). I truly grasped the reality that not a single ounce of my own effort had contributed to my salvation. I wept over my sin and God’s mercy toward me for the first time.

So in this month that is dedicated to celebrating pride, I want to remember—remember that Jesus can transform anyone who turns to Him in repentance. Remember that Jesus “saved a wretch like me.” 
Remember that Christ gives grace to every person who humbles themselves before Him.
Remember that we are all the same at the foot of the cross.
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#lookingtoJesus #amazinggrace #pride
Our beautiful boy is 1. All the memories surround Our beautiful boy is 1. 
All the memories surrounding his birth are filling my mind and heart today.

This time last year I was in a hospital bed adjusting to the reality of our son coming a month early. I felt so weak, so weary, so unprepared to labor another child from womb to world. It looked like a C-section would be the only option after hours of unimproved heart rate dips. My midwife (whom I’d just met that day) even cried for me (how precious is that?😭). My husband and I prayed for what seemed impossible—a vaginal delivery—and in God’s mercy He chose to grant it. Although it was by far my most painful, difficult birth I was in awe that God had shown such kindness to me. I knew He saw and heard, and was glorified to answer our audacious ask. The midwife and nurse said they’d never seen a turn-around like that in all their years of practicing. 

Little buddy still needed a week in the nicu, yet the Lord revealed His gentleness at every turn—holding my tender, reeling heart in His hands. 

Then, he was home. Yet another answered prayer (they’d projected 3-4 weeks). I’ll never forget the utter joy of his siblings upon his homecoming.

God did not spare me from pain in Jack’s birth story, but instead revealed Himself faithfully and beautifully in the midst of it. When I look at Jack Lewis Cofer, I will always see a testimony of God’s lovingkindness toward me.

Happy Birthday, precious boy. You are a gift I’m unworthy, but so grateful, to steward.
Today I celebrate my dear father. To sum up what Today I celebrate my dear father.

To sum up what I’ve learned from his life would take a post much longer than the word count IG allows. But what I admire the most about him in recent years is seeing a man who consistently grows in wisdom, humility, and joy. He’s one of my favorite people in the world to have deep conversations with—encouraging me to think deeply—and pointing me back to Jesus continually. He’s lived out the declaration in Isaiah 6:8, a passage he loves: “Here I am! Send me.” No words can capture my gratitude for such a rare gift. 

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebr It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebrate the dad of our children. 
Men of integrity, faithfulness, wisdom, repentance, and holiness are few in this world. But where they are found, it is a joy to honor them. I praise God for the one found in my own home, relentlessly fighting to fix his eyes on Jesus and obey the call on his life to love, disciple, and shepherd his family.

I adore you, @judahcofer. Happy Father’s Day.
When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility o When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility of coming to TGCW with her (and a nearly immediate “do it” from my husband) I was thrilled. Hands down, my favorite part was the hours and hours of time with this dear friend. It was so sweet to meet *so* many Instagram faces in-person, hear lots of messages, buy books, and drink a good deal of coffee. 

Now it’s off to my husband and little people. As they say, there’s no place like home. 💕

Until next time, Indy!
Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely neglected spot in our yard. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a little blanket of a particular weed beginning to grow, but decided to leave it to work on something else, convincing myself it could pass as nice ground-cover while I worked on “more important” projects. 

But a couple days ago I noticed it no longer passed as ground cover.😅

As I tugged at the multitude of weeds, I pondered how unassuming and rather pretty it looks when it’s small. Whimsical, white flowers bloom along it’s vine-y tendrils. But as it grows it slowly takes over everything. It wraps itself around branches and stems, making it difficult to distinguish which is which. If you take a close look at it, it’s very structure is twisted—growing to overpower and overtake.

How like sin these little weeds are—so often seeming harmless and even a delight to the eye. We let it be, thinking it can pass as part of the scenery of our lives. But it’s whole intention is to overtake. It slowly-yet-steadily wraps itself around whatever it can get ahold of, effecting every aspect of our lives. And eventually it’ll choke the life out of us.

No matter how innocent or appealing sin appears, it needs to be dealt with like these weeds: done away with. Given no room to flourish. Pulled up by the root and tossed out with the trash. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us tending these sins, or at least tolerating them. He knows that any inch we give to sin it will take a mile, keeping us from flourishing in the abundant life of Christ we’ve been given. 

Praise God for His grace that gives us the ability to say no to sin, to deal with it ruthlessly. Apart from Him we are slaves to our sin with no hope of freedom—no desire, even, for a life outside the bondage of death. What mercy, what love found in Jesus who died to free us from “the sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12). 

May any facade of beauty that sin might hold wither in the face of His glory.
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#lookingtoJesus #weeding #ponderings #Christcenteredwomanhood
“Lord, tether my dreams to reality.” This has “Lord, tether my dreams to reality.”

This has been a prayer I’ve continually lifted as of late.

I, as most do, have passions and interests that fall outside my family and home sphere. I have “one day” pursuits I feel quite strongly about. And the temptation can sometimes be to skimp in the “already here” and put my best efforts into those other desires (which are good things in-and-of themselves).

But here’s the reality: 

• I have one life to live. What I choose today matters.

• God’s priorities for me are worth pursuing with my whole heart, regardless of the messages the world (and sometimes my own heart) shouts at me. Why? Because He’s my Creator and only He gets to say what’s best for my life.

• My God-given priorities *today* include (but are not limited to) loving my husband and raising, training, teaching, loving, nurturing, and protecting five little people He’s entrusted to me. I alone have been granted the privilege of being called “Mommy” by these children, and “wife” of this precious man. Any other pursuits in this season must strengthen—not hinder—these callings. And, I might add, these 6 people are a dream come true.

• Some of those future dreams/pursuits are dependent on my faithfulness here and now. Why? Because every choice today is a seed planted, a stone laid. What will these say about me 20 years from now?

• I ultimately don’t want anything other than what God wants for me. He has the right and ability to change my course as He sees fit. If He chooses to allow those other dreams to come to fruition in His time and way I’ll be thrilled. But if He takes them away, blessed be His name. 

Tethered dreams have time to mature, deepen, be refined or even changed completely with age. Tethered dreams recognize that I can’t see the beginning from the end. Tethered dreams are safe with the One who can.

Lord, tether my dreams to reality.
Your reality.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and “The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” - G. K. Chesterton

The moral fabric of our society is being shredded to pieces right before our eyes, and the attack on the family is right at the heart of it.

Is there anything more counter-cultural we can do than hold fast to God’s design for family—a husband and wife covenanting to one another until death, bearing and raising children for the glory of God? I doubt it. This seemingly simple stand is being showered with fiery darts. The enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for believers to cave to the pressures and lies of society.

But by God’s grace, we can hold fast to this now-radical, Christ-honoring view of husbands, wives, and children. It might feel insignificant at times. But I have a feeling this obedience in regard to God’s design family is accomplishing far more than we’ll ever know this side of eternity.
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#lookingtoJesus #family #husbandsandwives #children #childrenareagift
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