Heather Cofer

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On Rachel Hollis and Harriet Tubman

8 Apr

Well, this is a rather uncharacteristic blog post for me, because I’m not typically one to publicly address hot topics or give my two cents on the most recent explosive stories.

But this subject is burning on my heart, and I feel compelled to say something.

There has been quite the uproar this past week due to some videos put on social media by a well-known influencer – Rachel Hollis – who has become wildly popular the past few years. Her books and messages have been embraced both inside and outside of Christian circles. I’ve been looking into and keeping an eye on Rachel’s work for quite some time, and at has been an increasing point of concern for me; it doesn’t take too much digging to realize just how unbiblical and damaging many of the ideas she promotes can be (just take a few minutes to look up “Rachel Hollis quotes” and you’ll see what I mean). But I’ve never felt the need to talk about it in a public way until now.

There are plenty of other places you can read in detail about her overall platform (you can read two of those articles HERE and HERE), as well as her most recent debacle, so I don’t feel the need to go into all that in this post. But I do want to address just one aspect of the whole issue that I believe gets at the core of what is so off about this theme of self-promotion she champions (and I am going to do my very best to represent this accurately and concisely). 

To set the stage: Apparently Rachel was doing a live video (which I didn’t see), and mentioned that she has a lady come regularly to clean her house, which was met with a good deal of pushback. One critic made the comment that this made Rachel “unrelatable” to the average woman. In response, Rachel made a video (which has since been removed from her IG, but which I believe is still circulating online) saying that she doesn’t want to be relatable to the average person; that this is actually one of her motivating factors for how hard she works. She listed several well-known women in the caption of her video whom she admires, and who, she said, are also unrelatable, seeming to compare herself to them (although she did come out with a statement afterward saying that wasn’t her intention). 

The first woman on that list was Harriet Tubman. 

Now, as I’ve been pondering these two women—Rachel and Harriet—the stark contrast between their lives and why they are well-known is why I felt prompted to write this.

The Contrast

In essence, Rachel has built her platform and reputation on promoting self-love, encouraging others to put themselves first and push their own agenda, and doing whatever it takes to reach the top of the worldly success ladder. Now, is there a place for some of the encouragement she offers about working hard and sticking at things? Yes. But the problem lies in the foundation and end goal of her message: Me. My life. My success. My happiness. To sum it up in a personal quote she posted on her IG feed:
“This is your life. You are meant to be the hero of your own story.”1

But Harriet Tubman? She is most known for putting herself in harm’s way and facing death again and again so others might be free. When ease and comfort could have been a reality for her, she intentionally put herself back in danger, demonstrating sacrificial love for those still in slavery. She chose to put others ahead of herself when she could have easily justified a decision to stay put in her own freedom. What has caused her to be so respected and “unrelatable” in the eyes of others is not that she pursued the top of the ladder, but her jaw-dropping willingness to lay down her life for others instead. She allowed her story to be used by God for far greater purposes than her own happiness, and it is for that reason she has been revered by millions.2

As Christian women, our ultimate achievement is not wealth, it’s not prominence, it’s not putting ourselves first or making ourselves the hero of our own story by whatever means necessary: It is lifting high the Name of Jesus. It is taking His example, being willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of loving and serving others out of love for God. It is our immense privilege and should be our utter joy to put everything on the line to advance His Kingdom and exalt Him as the Hero of our story and every story. 

This is what we were made for. And there is no better way to live.

Following Jesus’ Example

Mark 10:42-45 says this about a conversation Jesus had with his disciples:

“And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” 

Philippians 2:3-4 says,

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others as more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

This passage then goes on to say that we do this because of the example Jesus set for us (v. 5-11). 

Is it bad to have nice things? No. Is it wrong to enjoy the physical blessings God allows us to have? Also no. Is it sinful to receive reward for hard work? No again. We should receive these as good gifts from a loving Heavenly Father. But these should not be our ultimate pursuit. If our primary goal is achieving worldly gain and surrounding ourselves with comfort and happiness, we will find that we have made them into idols that cannot ever satisfy.

Most of the world probably won’t esteem or understand when we choose to let go of opportunities that would bring us more ease and comfort in this life when we do so for the sake of love and obedience to our Savior. It will seem crazy to some that we would willingly serve others at our own expense to proclaim that Jesus is worthy of everything. But there will be those who stand back in awe at this example, because there is truth written on all of our hearts that this is actually the most fulfilling, beautiful, eternally satisfying way to live, whether we acknowledge it or not. This is the reason that stories like Harriet Tubman’s strike a chord with believers and unbelievers alike. 

My heart aches to see Rachel Hollis and others who have embraced this self-seeking life “turn [their] eyes upon Jesus,” and “ look full in His wonderful face.” Because when we do this, “the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”3

There is nothing more satisfying or fulfilling than living for our Savior, because (in the words of the Westiminster Shorter Catechism) our chief end is “to glorify God, and to enjoy Him forever.”4 The pursuit of anything else will leave us empty, despairing, and desperate for something more. But, oh, we have that something more. We have Jesus. And may we as Christian women be faithful to proclaim that message to the world.

Your friend,

If you found this post helpful, would you consider sharing it? Many thanks!

Footnotes:

1. Quote
2. Freedom Train Story
3. Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
4. Westminster Shorter Catechism https://bpc.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/d-scatechism.pdf

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jessica Mathisen says

    April 9, 2021 at 2:34 pm

    Heather, thank you for this thoughtful post. I so appreciate your gentle way of leading us to the truth!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      April 10, 2021 at 5:30 am

      Thank you, friend, for these words – your encouragement means so much!

      Reply
  2. Kim Kruchkow says

    April 10, 2021 at 5:04 am

    Love you Heather and how this message needs to be proclaimed from the mountain too! Praying for you as God continues to guide you in dll things. Mrs Kruchkow

    Reply
    • Heather says

      April 10, 2021 at 5:31 am

      Thank you, Mrs. Kruchkow, for your encouragement and prayers. I’m so grateful. Blessings!

      Reply

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This past weekend Judah and I had the immense priv This past weekend Judah and I had the immense privilege of witnessing our five-year-old daughter surrender her life to the Lord.

God has used the salvation of my children to remind me of the Gospel that will never grow old, but that too often loses its wonder in my mind’s eye. What a gift that, in a world filled with evil and upheaval, God is quietly revealing that He is at work in the lives of those most precious to me.

I’m brought back to the reality of what Christ has done on our behalf, simple enough for a child to grasp, yet so profound we’ll never understand the half of it (at least not this side of heaven).

[Read the full post from my rejoicing heart at the link in my bio💕]
I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure t I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure there will be a multitude of voices today, but I’m going to chance it and add a few comments to the throng.

I’ve been seeing the argument over and over by pro-abortion advocates that we cannot be truly pro-life unless we’re personally adopting every child who is in foster care, providing childcare or tuition fees for every teen mom who chooses to keep their child, or rallying for every social cause. But this is simply not true. Can we not be against human trafficking without personally going and rescuing every single victim? Can we not think sexual assault is wrong without personally investing in every person who’s experienced it? We can and must hold fast to objective truths about right and wrong according to Scripture. When God gives us opportunities to personally give of our time, resources, and energy to love and care for those who are affected by an unexpected pregnancy—whether that’s providing diapers or adopting a child—we should wholeheartedly obey. But if what God is asking of you today is to get on your knees for those babies, mamas, and daddies who are touched by an unexpected pregnancy, remember that this is no less important. God moves when His people cry out to Him in prayer.

There is also the argument floating around that Christians talk big but act little. In other words, we aren’t actually willing to step in and help the babies we’ve wanted to protect in the womb. But if you look at the statistics that’s also false. Professing Christians are far more likely to personally invest time and resources into caring for the vulnerable than the general population (take a look at Josh Howerton’s pinned thread on Twitter as a starting place). Are there those whose lives contradict their words? Of course. God has to convict all of us of hypocrisy to one degree or another. Where we’ve failed to obey we should repent. However, we shouldn’t buy the lie that *every* Christian is failing to love the vulnerable. And, we need to remember that we’re simply responsible to do what God entrusts us with today—no more, no less. 

Lord, help your people to pray faithfully, serve faithfully, and give faithfully for your glory.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a her I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a hermeneutics class our teacher saying, “In Ezekiel 16, do you know what sin is listed first as reasons God destroyed Sodom? Pride.”

This struck me to the core. God had been doing a significant work in my life on this very thing. I’d grown up in a Christian home, been a rule-follower, and truly did love Jesus from a young age. That said, it was hard for me to grasp the depth of my sinfulness. I didn’t have a “past” and I’d never been a trouble-maker. But in my early 20’s I began to feel an increasing desperation to know and love Jesus more. As I pressed into Him I sensed Him speaking to my heart: 

“If you want your love for me to grow you need to see what you’ve been saved from.” 

He began exposing the depth of pride and filthy self-righteousness I’d viewed as lesser evils. It was so painful, but so freeing at the same time. I knew I was no better than those who’d committed the vilest atrocities, equally in need of the blood of Christ to “cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). I truly grasped the reality that not a single ounce of my own effort had contributed to my salvation. I wept over my sin and God’s mercy toward me for the first time.

So in this month that is dedicated to celebrating pride, I want to remember—remember that Jesus can transform anyone who turns to Him in repentance. Remember that Jesus “saved a wretch like me.” 
Remember that Christ gives grace to every person who humbles themselves before Him.
Remember that we are all the same at the foot of the cross.
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#lookingtoJesus #amazinggrace #pride
Our beautiful boy is 1. All the memories surround Our beautiful boy is 1. 
All the memories surrounding his birth are filling my mind and heart today.

This time last year I was in a hospital bed adjusting to the reality of our son coming a month early. I felt so weak, so weary, so unprepared to labor another child from womb to world. It looked like a C-section would be the only option after hours of unimproved heart rate dips. My midwife (whom I’d just met that day) even cried for me (how precious is that?😭). My husband and I prayed for what seemed impossible—a vaginal delivery—and in God’s mercy He chose to grant it. Although it was by far my most painful, difficult birth I was in awe that God had shown such kindness to me. I knew He saw and heard, and was glorified to answer our audacious ask. The midwife and nurse said they’d never seen a turn-around like that in all their years of practicing. 

Little buddy still needed a week in the nicu, yet the Lord revealed His gentleness at every turn—holding my tender, reeling heart in His hands. 

Then, he was home. Yet another answered prayer (they’d projected 3-4 weeks). I’ll never forget the utter joy of his siblings upon his homecoming.

God did not spare me from pain in Jack’s birth story, but instead revealed Himself faithfully and beautifully in the midst of it. When I look at Jack Lewis Cofer, I will always see a testimony of God’s lovingkindness toward me.

Happy Birthday, precious boy. You are a gift I’m unworthy, but so grateful, to steward.
Today I celebrate my dear father. To sum up what Today I celebrate my dear father.

To sum up what I’ve learned from his life would take a post much longer than the word count IG allows. But what I admire the most about him in recent years is seeing a man who consistently grows in wisdom, humility, and joy. He’s one of my favorite people in the world to have deep conversations with—encouraging me to think deeply—and pointing me back to Jesus continually. He’s lived out the declaration in Isaiah 6:8, a passage he loves: “Here I am! Send me.” No words can capture my gratitude for such a rare gift. 

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebr It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebrate the dad of our children. 
Men of integrity, faithfulness, wisdom, repentance, and holiness are few in this world. But where they are found, it is a joy to honor them. I praise God for the one found in my own home, relentlessly fighting to fix his eyes on Jesus and obey the call on his life to love, disciple, and shepherd his family.

I adore you, @judahcofer. Happy Father’s Day.
When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility o When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility of coming to TGCW with her (and a nearly immediate “do it” from my husband) I was thrilled. Hands down, my favorite part was the hours and hours of time with this dear friend. It was so sweet to meet *so* many Instagram faces in-person, hear lots of messages, buy books, and drink a good deal of coffee. 

Now it’s off to my husband and little people. As they say, there’s no place like home. 💕

Until next time, Indy!
Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely neglected spot in our yard. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a little blanket of a particular weed beginning to grow, but decided to leave it to work on something else, convincing myself it could pass as nice ground-cover while I worked on “more important” projects. 

But a couple days ago I noticed it no longer passed as ground cover.😅

As I tugged at the multitude of weeds, I pondered how unassuming and rather pretty it looks when it’s small. Whimsical, white flowers bloom along it’s vine-y tendrils. But as it grows it slowly takes over everything. It wraps itself around branches and stems, making it difficult to distinguish which is which. If you take a close look at it, it’s very structure is twisted—growing to overpower and overtake.

How like sin these little weeds are—so often seeming harmless and even a delight to the eye. We let it be, thinking it can pass as part of the scenery of our lives. But it’s whole intention is to overtake. It slowly-yet-steadily wraps itself around whatever it can get ahold of, effecting every aspect of our lives. And eventually it’ll choke the life out of us.

No matter how innocent or appealing sin appears, it needs to be dealt with like these weeds: done away with. Given no room to flourish. Pulled up by the root and tossed out with the trash. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us tending these sins, or at least tolerating them. He knows that any inch we give to sin it will take a mile, keeping us from flourishing in the abundant life of Christ we’ve been given. 

Praise God for His grace that gives us the ability to say no to sin, to deal with it ruthlessly. Apart from Him we are slaves to our sin with no hope of freedom—no desire, even, for a life outside the bondage of death. What mercy, what love found in Jesus who died to free us from “the sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12). 

May any facade of beauty that sin might hold wither in the face of His glory.
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#lookingtoJesus #weeding #ponderings #Christcenteredwomanhood
“Lord, tether my dreams to reality.” This has “Lord, tether my dreams to reality.”

This has been a prayer I’ve continually lifted as of late.

I, as most do, have passions and interests that fall outside my family and home sphere. I have “one day” pursuits I feel quite strongly about. And the temptation can sometimes be to skimp in the “already here” and put my best efforts into those other desires (which are good things in-and-of themselves).

But here’s the reality: 

• I have one life to live. What I choose today matters.

• God’s priorities for me are worth pursuing with my whole heart, regardless of the messages the world (and sometimes my own heart) shouts at me. Why? Because He’s my Creator and only He gets to say what’s best for my life.

• My God-given priorities *today* include (but are not limited to) loving my husband and raising, training, teaching, loving, nurturing, and protecting five little people He’s entrusted to me. I alone have been granted the privilege of being called “Mommy” by these children, and “wife” of this precious man. Any other pursuits in this season must strengthen—not hinder—these callings. And, I might add, these 6 people are a dream come true.

• Some of those future dreams/pursuits are dependent on my faithfulness here and now. Why? Because every choice today is a seed planted, a stone laid. What will these say about me 20 years from now?

• I ultimately don’t want anything other than what God wants for me. He has the right and ability to change my course as He sees fit. If He chooses to allow those other dreams to come to fruition in His time and way I’ll be thrilled. But if He takes them away, blessed be His name. 

Tethered dreams have time to mature, deepen, be refined or even changed completely with age. Tethered dreams recognize that I can’t see the beginning from the end. Tethered dreams are safe with the One who can.

Lord, tether my dreams to reality.
Your reality.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and “The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” - G. K. Chesterton

The moral fabric of our society is being shredded to pieces right before our eyes, and the attack on the family is right at the heart of it.

Is there anything more counter-cultural we can do than hold fast to God’s design for family—a husband and wife covenanting to one another until death, bearing and raising children for the glory of God? I doubt it. This seemingly simple stand is being showered with fiery darts. The enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for believers to cave to the pressures and lies of society.

But by God’s grace, we can hold fast to this now-radical, Christ-honoring view of husbands, wives, and children. It might feel insignificant at times. But I have a feeling this obedience in regard to God’s design family is accomplishing far more than we’ll ever know this side of eternity.
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#lookingtoJesus #family #husbandsandwives #children #childrenareagift
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