Heather Cofer

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20 Years: Reflections on Mongolia

3 Oct
Photos by Naomi Vacaro

This week marked a very significant milestone in my life. 20 years ago, on September 29, 1999 I stepped foot in Mongolia for the very first time. I don’t think I will ever forget that day as a seven-year-old… the drive from the airport to my new home in the middle of the capital city of Ulaan Baatar. I was flooded with new sounds, new sights, and new smells, but I only remember being thrilled by it all. My parents told us they felt like God was calling us to live in this country across the world from our own, and in my childlike faith that was enough for me. 

For the next 12 years, those sights and sounds and smells would become an everyday part of my life. The other missionary kids who lived there would become the most precious of friends (and one would become my husband). We shared experiences that were wonderful and hard and exciting. That rugged land of Mongolia became home. 


Not long ago, my friend Naomi (whose family became like family to us during our years there) made a trip back to Mongolia with her husband. As I looked through the beautiful pictures she shared, there was an aching in my heart I haven’t felt for quite some time. She captured some of the spaces that, although may be overlooked by many, are incredibly significant to me and many others. I stared at them over and over and over, tears often running down my face. 

It struck me as I gazed at those photos just how thankful I am for those years I lived in Mongolia, and how much my parents’ decision to move there has impacted me in ways I may not fully know this side of heaven. But, I wanted to share three ways God has used that experience to teach me invaluable lessons. 

1. Living in obedience to God is always worth it

Many people questioned my parents’ decision to move their family of (then) six children across the world to a place that was much more rustic, and had very little access to medical care at the time. But my parents had counted the cost, and they knew that if Jesus was calling them to Mongolia, He would hold us all in His Almighty hands. They knew that there was no other way to truly live this life than in full abandonment to the King of Kings. And we experience the blessing of that obedience to this day in countless ways. I’ve learned that it is the highest privilege to serve God wherever He leads us, and that even when those decisions are very difficult, they will never be in vain. 

2. God’s family is beautifully diverse

We were a part of a community made up of families from all over the world. My dad was the director of a missionary kids’ school, and in many ways these people became our “local body.” All of us had come to Mongolia for one purpose: to serve Jesus. And this purpose bonded us together in amazing ways. I had friends from Germany, Korea, England, Switzerland, Holland, Canada, and all across the US, giving us the opportunity to see how God was working in the lives of people around the globe. We learned to appreciate the many cultural differences and embraced together many of the ones we lived in (creating quite the unique group of kids). And, there are a few of these people I still consider to be some of my closest friends even though we’re far apart geographically. The days of playing, learning, painting, working, laughing, and walking all over UB with these people will forever be some of my most cherished memories. 

3. this world is not my home

As I looked at those photos Naomi took of places that were once such a significant part of my life, a deep longing entered me. But… to go back? To experience those places again? To relive my childhood? No, I don’t think so. I know that that yearning wouldn’t be satisfied by going back to what it once was, or even seeing it again without all the people I love there to experience it with me. As I’ve pondered this,  I think C. S. Lewis sums it up so well:

“The fact that our heart yearns for something Earth cannot supply is proof that Heaven must be our home.”

– C. S. Lewis

As beautiful as my childhood was, it was only a glimpse of the beauty and joy I’ll experience one day in the presence of my Savior in my eternal home. Anything good, anything lovely, anything precious I gained from those years in Mongolia was only a taste of what is to come when all those childhood friends are reunited in Heaven. There, where it is untainted by sin and sorrow and goodbyes. And every time I feel that longing for what once was, I can ask the Lord to use it to ready me for what is to come in my forever home with Him. 

There is not a day that goes by that I am not deeply grateful for those childhood years in Mongolia. Some days I still find myself grieving the loss of that place I loved. But I’m also learning more and more that my identity doesn’t lie in the fact that I grew up there, or that I now live in Colorado, or that I’m a mom or a wife or a writer or anything else. My identity is found in Jesus Christ, who never changes and never leaves. This life will change… seasons will come and go, but not Him. And when that is my foundation, my source of comfort and hope, my gaze is lifted to eternity and the untold joy that is to come. 

Your friend,

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Comments

  1. Carol Beth Sprenger says

    October 4, 2019 at 6:45 am

    Praising the Lord for His Amazing Grace, the abundant blessings of those years in Mongolia, and for teaching all of us those invaluable lessons!
    Thank you for this thoughtful expression of your heart, Heather!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      October 4, 2019 at 2:03 pm

      Yes, God has been so good! Thank you, Mom!!

      Reply
  2. Laura Thomas says

    October 5, 2019 at 1:05 am

    I truly enjoyed seeing these photos of places we once visited as well! It’s good to hear your reflections on your experiences there. I love the C.S. Lewis quote! It sums things up so well!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      October 5, 2019 at 2:28 am

      It’s so special you got to visit us there! I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

      Reply

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This past weekend Judah and I had the immense priv This past weekend Judah and I had the immense privilege of witnessing our five-year-old daughter surrender her life to the Lord.

God has used the salvation of my children to remind me of the Gospel that will never grow old, but that too often loses its wonder in my mind’s eye. What a gift that, in a world filled with evil and upheaval, God is quietly revealing that He is at work in the lives of those most precious to me.

I’m brought back to the reality of what Christ has done on our behalf, simple enough for a child to grasp, yet so profound we’ll never understand the half of it (at least not this side of heaven).

[Read the full post from my rejoicing heart at the link in my bio💕]
I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure t I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure there will be a multitude of voices today, but I’m going to chance it and add a few comments to the throng.

I’ve been seeing the argument over and over by pro-abortion advocates that we cannot be truly pro-life unless we’re personally adopting every child who is in foster care, providing childcare or tuition fees for every teen mom who chooses to keep their child, or rallying for every social cause. But this is simply not true. Can we not be against human trafficking without personally going and rescuing every single victim? Can we not think sexual assault is wrong without personally investing in every person who’s experienced it? We can and must hold fast to objective truths about right and wrong according to Scripture. When God gives us opportunities to personally give of our time, resources, and energy to love and care for those who are affected by an unexpected pregnancy—whether that’s providing diapers or adopting a child—we should wholeheartedly obey. But if what God is asking of you today is to get on your knees for those babies, mamas, and daddies who are touched by an unexpected pregnancy, remember that this is no less important. God moves when His people cry out to Him in prayer.

There is also the argument floating around that Christians talk big but act little. In other words, we aren’t actually willing to step in and help the babies we’ve wanted to protect in the womb. But if you look at the statistics that’s also false. Professing Christians are far more likely to personally invest time and resources into caring for the vulnerable than the general population (take a look at Josh Howerton’s pinned thread on Twitter as a starting place). Are there those whose lives contradict their words? Of course. God has to convict all of us of hypocrisy to one degree or another. Where we’ve failed to obey we should repent. However, we shouldn’t buy the lie that *every* Christian is failing to love the vulnerable. And, we need to remember that we’re simply responsible to do what God entrusts us with today—no more, no less. 

Lord, help your people to pray faithfully, serve faithfully, and give faithfully for your glory.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a her I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a hermeneutics class our teacher saying, “In Ezekiel 16, do you know what sin is listed first as reasons God destroyed Sodom? Pride.”

This struck me to the core. God had been doing a significant work in my life on this very thing. I’d grown up in a Christian home, been a rule-follower, and truly did love Jesus from a young age. That said, it was hard for me to grasp the depth of my sinfulness. I didn’t have a “past” and I’d never been a trouble-maker. But in my early 20’s I began to feel an increasing desperation to know and love Jesus more. As I pressed into Him I sensed Him speaking to my heart: 

“If you want your love for me to grow you need to see what you’ve been saved from.” 

He began exposing the depth of pride and filthy self-righteousness I’d viewed as lesser evils. It was so painful, but so freeing at the same time. I knew I was no better than those who’d committed the vilest atrocities, equally in need of the blood of Christ to “cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). I truly grasped the reality that not a single ounce of my own effort had contributed to my salvation. I wept over my sin and God’s mercy toward me for the first time.

So in this month that is dedicated to celebrating pride, I want to remember—remember that Jesus can transform anyone who turns to Him in repentance. Remember that Jesus “saved a wretch like me.” 
Remember that Christ gives grace to every person who humbles themselves before Him.
Remember that we are all the same at the foot of the cross.
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#lookingtoJesus #amazinggrace #pride
Our beautiful boy is 1. All the memories surround Our beautiful boy is 1. 
All the memories surrounding his birth are filling my mind and heart today.

This time last year I was in a hospital bed adjusting to the reality of our son coming a month early. I felt so weak, so weary, so unprepared to labor another child from womb to world. It looked like a C-section would be the only option after hours of unimproved heart rate dips. My midwife (whom I’d just met that day) even cried for me (how precious is that?😭). My husband and I prayed for what seemed impossible—a vaginal delivery—and in God’s mercy He chose to grant it. Although it was by far my most painful, difficult birth I was in awe that God had shown such kindness to me. I knew He saw and heard, and was glorified to answer our audacious ask. The midwife and nurse said they’d never seen a turn-around like that in all their years of practicing. 

Little buddy still needed a week in the nicu, yet the Lord revealed His gentleness at every turn—holding my tender, reeling heart in His hands. 

Then, he was home. Yet another answered prayer (they’d projected 3-4 weeks). I’ll never forget the utter joy of his siblings upon his homecoming.

God did not spare me from pain in Jack’s birth story, but instead revealed Himself faithfully and beautifully in the midst of it. When I look at Jack Lewis Cofer, I will always see a testimony of God’s lovingkindness toward me.

Happy Birthday, precious boy. You are a gift I’m unworthy, but so grateful, to steward.
Today I celebrate my dear father. To sum up what Today I celebrate my dear father.

To sum up what I’ve learned from his life would take a post much longer than the word count IG allows. But what I admire the most about him in recent years is seeing a man who consistently grows in wisdom, humility, and joy. He’s one of my favorite people in the world to have deep conversations with—encouraging me to think deeply—and pointing me back to Jesus continually. He’s lived out the declaration in Isaiah 6:8, a passage he loves: “Here I am! Send me.” No words can capture my gratitude for such a rare gift. 

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebr It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebrate the dad of our children. 
Men of integrity, faithfulness, wisdom, repentance, and holiness are few in this world. But where they are found, it is a joy to honor them. I praise God for the one found in my own home, relentlessly fighting to fix his eyes on Jesus and obey the call on his life to love, disciple, and shepherd his family.

I adore you, @judahcofer. Happy Father’s Day.
When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility o When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility of coming to TGCW with her (and a nearly immediate “do it” from my husband) I was thrilled. Hands down, my favorite part was the hours and hours of time with this dear friend. It was so sweet to meet *so* many Instagram faces in-person, hear lots of messages, buy books, and drink a good deal of coffee. 

Now it’s off to my husband and little people. As they say, there’s no place like home. 💕

Until next time, Indy!
Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely neglected spot in our yard. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a little blanket of a particular weed beginning to grow, but decided to leave it to work on something else, convincing myself it could pass as nice ground-cover while I worked on “more important” projects. 

But a couple days ago I noticed it no longer passed as ground cover.😅

As I tugged at the multitude of weeds, I pondered how unassuming and rather pretty it looks when it’s small. Whimsical, white flowers bloom along it’s vine-y tendrils. But as it grows it slowly takes over everything. It wraps itself around branches and stems, making it difficult to distinguish which is which. If you take a close look at it, it’s very structure is twisted—growing to overpower and overtake.

How like sin these little weeds are—so often seeming harmless and even a delight to the eye. We let it be, thinking it can pass as part of the scenery of our lives. But it’s whole intention is to overtake. It slowly-yet-steadily wraps itself around whatever it can get ahold of, effecting every aspect of our lives. And eventually it’ll choke the life out of us.

No matter how innocent or appealing sin appears, it needs to be dealt with like these weeds: done away with. Given no room to flourish. Pulled up by the root and tossed out with the trash. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us tending these sins, or at least tolerating them. He knows that any inch we give to sin it will take a mile, keeping us from flourishing in the abundant life of Christ we’ve been given. 

Praise God for His grace that gives us the ability to say no to sin, to deal with it ruthlessly. Apart from Him we are slaves to our sin with no hope of freedom—no desire, even, for a life outside the bondage of death. What mercy, what love found in Jesus who died to free us from “the sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12). 

May any facade of beauty that sin might hold wither in the face of His glory.
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#lookingtoJesus #weeding #ponderings #Christcenteredwomanhood
“Lord, tether my dreams to reality.” This has “Lord, tether my dreams to reality.”

This has been a prayer I’ve continually lifted as of late.

I, as most do, have passions and interests that fall outside my family and home sphere. I have “one day” pursuits I feel quite strongly about. And the temptation can sometimes be to skimp in the “already here” and put my best efforts into those other desires (which are good things in-and-of themselves).

But here’s the reality: 

• I have one life to live. What I choose today matters.

• God’s priorities for me are worth pursuing with my whole heart, regardless of the messages the world (and sometimes my own heart) shouts at me. Why? Because He’s my Creator and only He gets to say what’s best for my life.

• My God-given priorities *today* include (but are not limited to) loving my husband and raising, training, teaching, loving, nurturing, and protecting five little people He’s entrusted to me. I alone have been granted the privilege of being called “Mommy” by these children, and “wife” of this precious man. Any other pursuits in this season must strengthen—not hinder—these callings. And, I might add, these 6 people are a dream come true.

• Some of those future dreams/pursuits are dependent on my faithfulness here and now. Why? Because every choice today is a seed planted, a stone laid. What will these say about me 20 years from now?

• I ultimately don’t want anything other than what God wants for me. He has the right and ability to change my course as He sees fit. If He chooses to allow those other dreams to come to fruition in His time and way I’ll be thrilled. But if He takes them away, blessed be His name. 

Tethered dreams have time to mature, deepen, be refined or even changed completely with age. Tethered dreams recognize that I can’t see the beginning from the end. Tethered dreams are safe with the One who can.

Lord, tether my dreams to reality.
Your reality.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and “The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” - G. K. Chesterton

The moral fabric of our society is being shredded to pieces right before our eyes, and the attack on the family is right at the heart of it.

Is there anything more counter-cultural we can do than hold fast to God’s design for family—a husband and wife covenanting to one another until death, bearing and raising children for the glory of God? I doubt it. This seemingly simple stand is being showered with fiery darts. The enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for believers to cave to the pressures and lies of society.

But by God’s grace, we can hold fast to this now-radical, Christ-honoring view of husbands, wives, and children. It might feel insignificant at times. But I have a feeling this obedience in regard to God’s design family is accomplishing far more than we’ll ever know this side of eternity.
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#lookingtoJesus #family #husbandsandwives #children #childrenareagift
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