Heather Cofer

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A Time to Speak, a Time to Learn

17 Feb

If you’ve been a regular reader for a while, you may have noticed it’s been a bit quieter here on the blog the past few months.

At first this was mostly due to my really bad “morning” (read: all day) sickness. But since that began subsiding my quietness has been on account of other reasons. 

It’s not that I haven’t had inspiration – I most certainly have had topics I want to write about. I’m actually bursting to get my thoughts out on proverbial paper as of late. But some time around the end of last year as I witnessed our country’s upheaval, polarized views, growing animosity, and division amongst those who claim the name of Christ, I sensed the Lord leading me into a rather focused season of learning, observing, and listening. There are so many issues that are causing schisms in Christian circles; things that some might say are political, but what I believe are fundamentally worldview issues. And I’m more and more convinced that we as Christians need to be diligent to know whether or not these prevalent belief systems are compatible with a Christian worldview according to the Bible. 

And it starts with me. 

I know that a stay-at-home mom of 4 +1 on the way with no traditional higher education is a rather unlikely candidate for this kind of study in some ways. Why not just focus on caring for my children and keeping my home? Because I believe it’s absolutely critical that we get it right in the home first. The widely accepted worldviews aren’t just “out there” anymore: they are coming into our homes. They are influencing both us and our children through social media (and media in general) as well as others we might be spending time with. Our kids will probably start hearing these trendy worldviews from their friends. And if we are going to prepare the next generation to think biblically, truthfully, and critically, it starts now. It starts here. It starts with moms, dads – men and women – who are committed to following Christ and discipling the next generation in truth. 

The Lord is teaching me again that there is a time to speak, but there is also a time to wait to speak. The world says we have to have an opinion on everything, pressuring us to voice them even before we have fully formed (or informed) conclusions. But that’s not true. It’s ok to be quiet. It’s right to be committed to being slow to speak, weighing our words carefully (James 1:19). It’s prudent to let the emotions settle, not letting our conclusions be dictated by how we feel (or how others tell us we should feel). And I say this because I’ve been guilty of it. I’ve gotten caught up in what seemed to be true – what my emotions told me were true – but turned out to be only partly true (or maybe not really that true at all). I’ve been humbled by just how volatile and impressionable my thoughts and emotions can be, and challenged to be sober-minded as I approach these subjects. And I’m incredibly thankful for those who have lovingly challenged me to be a faithful scholar of truth. 

It starts with moms, dads – men and women – who are committed to following Christ and discipling the next generation in truth. 

There will probably be a time when I’m called to be more publicly specific about these worldviews I’m looking into, but right now most of my conversations are in person where dialogue can be more constructive. And, my guess is that you may already have some sort of inkling as to what I’m referring to. 

However, I will share some of the principles that have been a help and encouragement to me as I’ve dived into these waters. Because, I believe this isn’t just a time for me to be preparing for what’s ahead, but that all Christians need to be aware of what threats are subtly or not-so-subtly trying to infiltrate and undermine the church. Our process or intensity of learning probably won’t look the same, and that’s ok. What matters is being faithful with what is before us.

1. Know the Bible

One of the biggest guards against false teaching and unbiblical worldviews is knowing Scripture. Jen Wilkin says in her book Women of the Word (which I highly recommend),

“Bible literacy matters because it protects us from falling into error. Both the false teacher and the secular humanist rely on biblical ignorance for their messages to take root, and the modern church has proven fertile ground for those messages. Because we do not know our Bibles, we crumble at the most basic challenges to our worldview. Disillusionment and apathy eat away at our ranks.”

So many people try to use the Bible to prop up false teaching. If someone listening to (or reading) the works of these people doesn’t know the Bible, it is almost certain they will begin to fall for these messages that seem new and exciting. However, when someone has been diligently reading and studying Scripture for themselves, they’ll probably get a funny feeling in their gut when something’s not quite right. They’ll be able to spot verses taken out of context and truths that have been twisted to support lies. They won’t be swayed by every wind of doctrine that comes along (Ephesians 4:14).

I also believe there is a specific warning for women in Scripture that we need to be aware of. 2 Timothy 3 describes the kind of people who will be around in the last times (which we are in), and has this to say, “For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions, always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” (v. 6-7).

We as women need to be strong and sound in our understanding of truth. This means being diligent to read and study the Bible so that no one will creep into our homes through avenues like social media or popular self-help resources to capture us by our wayward emotions or passions. It means taking sin seriously, confessing it and not allowing it to weigh us down and cloud our thinking. It means submitting ourselves to the authority of Scripture, giving no ear to the voice of the enemy to plant the lie of “did God really say…” in our minds like He did with Eve in the garden.

Let’s be like the Bereans who searched the scriptures diligently, proving that the words of Paul and Silas were true (Acts 17:11).

We as women need to be strong and sound in our understanding of truth.

2. Beware of “New Knowledge”

My husband picked up a quote from an older pastor that he’s used several times in his own sermons over the years: 

“If it’s new it’s not true, and if it’s true it’s not new.” 

There are lots of people who call themselves Christians claiming “new knowledge” that they say is necessary for right living. But if these thoughts don’t originate from Scripture or are not compatible with all of Scripture (as it has always been), they’re not ideas we should adopt. 

Yes, the ways we appropriate truth will often look different today than they did 100 or 500 years ago. But this has to do with changing circumstances and current issues, not the changing of truth itself. Truth (as defined by God) never changes. It is foundational and applicable from generation to generation, and will never be outdated. 

Be wary of those who add to Scripture or take away from it; who have to reinterpret or twist the words in the Bible in order to support their ideas. Read the Bible for yourself (2 Peter would be a great place to start on the specific topic of false teachers). Seek the counsel of mature believers who unwaveringly submit themselves to the authority of the Bible. Be constant in prayer, asking God for discernment and wisdom.

“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 2 Timothy 2:15 (KJV)

Be wary of those who add to Scripture or take away from it; who have to reinterpret or twist the words in the Bible in order to support their ideas.

3. Listen to Reliable Sources

I touched on this in my last point, but I’ll say it again: it’s vitally important that we are allowing the voice and influence of the right people into our lives, not those who are going to lead us astray. Sometimes this can be a little tricky to distinguish, especially when there are so many voices opposed to one another. But it is possible. Here are a few questions I ask myself:

  • Are They Speaking What is True?

This might sound redundant, but I want to expound on it because it’s so critical. I’ve seen and heard many people in the past months stating “facts” that turned out to be false, whether things that pertain to the current day, history, or biblical issues. This includes both Christans and non-Christians. Although I believe when it comes to theology and doctrine we should be listening to those who are solid Christians, I believe there is also a place to listen to certain non-Christian voices who are well-studied and are committed to being truthful in their field. None of us will have unlimited time to research what they are saying, but if others who are committed to truth are also vouching for them, that’s one way of knowing that what they are saying is true. And, even though it takes a bit of patience, most of us have a little bit of extra time to look into whether or not what we’re hearing is actually true. 

  • Are They Willing to Admit When They are Wrong? 

This is one trait that has stood out to me in the past months as I’ve tried to determine what kind of weight to put on someone’s words. It takes humility for someone to publicly admit when they were wrong about something, demonstrating that they are more committed to what is true than upholding their reputation.

Now, I’m not talking about those who change their minds because others with differing opinions criticize or come after them. This isn’t a turn-around based in a commitment to the truth, but rather being afraid of rejection. So, going hand-in-hand with being willing to admit when they are wrong comes the boldness not to change their mind (or say they have) simply because of the pushback of popular opinion. I’m speaking of those who have been presented with facts that contradict their original thought (especially by other wise people), look into it, and realize they didn’t have it quite right.

I’m also not referring to those who show a continual pattern of saying un-factual things due to speaking hastily with poor research. A prudent person will weigh their words carefully, having looked into subjects thoroughly before claiming to be an authority on them. However, since we are all humans we can and will err at some point even with great commitment to truth. We all need to be ready to extend patience and grace to one another as we grow, remembering that even the most well-learned will need to correct themselves at times.

  • Are Their Claims Compatible with Scripture?

This one is more specifically when we are weighing Christian voices and determining whether to take their words to heart. There are a number of prevalent worldviews that Christians are saying we should be embracing or implementing as believers. They usually take one or two things that can be considered good about that worldview or agenda, dancing around the biblical concerns that are raised or using fallacious arguments to support them. We have to be very wary of this. It’s also another reason we need to know what the Bible says so we can see when they’re using Scripture out of context to support something that the whole Bible doesn’t actually support. 

If you’re not sure whether something aligns with Scripture, ask other believers who are wise and discerning and care more about holding fast to the truth than being culturally relevant. See if any red flags are being raised in their minds, whether they have any insights to offer, or if they can point you to specific places in Scripture that would refute or support these ideas. 

Ask other believers who are wise and discerning and care more about holding fast to the truth than being culturally relevant.


The things going on in the world around us can feel so confusing and disorienting. But God will be faithful to lead us as we fix our eyes upon Him. We can look throughout all of history and see many, many crazy things that have taken place and many powerful people who have tried to silence voices speaking truth. But God’s Word still stands. There are still those proclaiming Him, believing Him, and willing to risk everything out of love and allegiance to their Savior. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8). There is nothing—no worldview, no system, no government—that can stop our God. And He will equip us with all we need for life and godliness as we seek Him diligently in our day and age.

Your friend,

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  1. Rachel Davis says

    February 18, 2021 at 12:11 pm

    Such a great post. Thank you!

    Reply
    • Heather says

      February 18, 2021 at 9:15 pm

      You’re welcome!

      Reply

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This past weekend Judah and I had the immense priv This past weekend Judah and I had the immense privilege of witnessing our five-year-old daughter surrender her life to the Lord.

God has used the salvation of my children to remind me of the Gospel that will never grow old, but that too often loses its wonder in my mind’s eye. What a gift that, in a world filled with evil and upheaval, God is quietly revealing that He is at work in the lives of those most precious to me.

I’m brought back to the reality of what Christ has done on our behalf, simple enough for a child to grasp, yet so profound we’ll never understand the half of it (at least not this side of heaven).

[Read the full post from my rejoicing heart at the link in my bio💕]
I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure t I’ve been mulling on this 👆🏻. I’m sure there will be a multitude of voices today, but I’m going to chance it and add a few comments to the throng.

I’ve been seeing the argument over and over by pro-abortion advocates that we cannot be truly pro-life unless we’re personally adopting every child who is in foster care, providing childcare or tuition fees for every teen mom who chooses to keep their child, or rallying for every social cause. But this is simply not true. Can we not be against human trafficking without personally going and rescuing every single victim? Can we not think sexual assault is wrong without personally investing in every person who’s experienced it? We can and must hold fast to objective truths about right and wrong according to Scripture. When God gives us opportunities to personally give of our time, resources, and energy to love and care for those who are affected by an unexpected pregnancy—whether that’s providing diapers or adopting a child—we should wholeheartedly obey. But if what God is asking of you today is to get on your knees for those babies, mamas, and daddies who are touched by an unexpected pregnancy, remember that this is no less important. God moves when His people cry out to Him in prayer.

There is also the argument floating around that Christians talk big but act little. In other words, we aren’t actually willing to step in and help the babies we’ve wanted to protect in the womb. But if you look at the statistics that’s also false. Professing Christians are far more likely to personally invest time and resources into caring for the vulnerable than the general population (take a look at Josh Howerton’s pinned thread on Twitter as a starting place). Are there those whose lives contradict their words? Of course. God has to convict all of us of hypocrisy to one degree or another. Where we’ve failed to obey we should repent. However, we shouldn’t buy the lie that *every* Christian is failing to love the vulnerable. And, we need to remember that we’re simply responsible to do what God entrusts us with today—no more, no less. 

Lord, help your people to pray faithfully, serve faithfully, and give faithfully for your glory.
I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a her I’ll never forget a number of years ago in a hermeneutics class our teacher saying, “In Ezekiel 16, do you know what sin is listed first as reasons God destroyed Sodom? Pride.”

This struck me to the core. God had been doing a significant work in my life on this very thing. I’d grown up in a Christian home, been a rule-follower, and truly did love Jesus from a young age. That said, it was hard for me to grasp the depth of my sinfulness. I didn’t have a “past” and I’d never been a trouble-maker. But in my early 20’s I began to feel an increasing desperation to know and love Jesus more. As I pressed into Him I sensed Him speaking to my heart: 

“If you want your love for me to grow you need to see what you’ve been saved from.” 

He began exposing the depth of pride and filthy self-righteousness I’d viewed as lesser evils. It was so painful, but so freeing at the same time. I knew I was no better than those who’d committed the vilest atrocities, equally in need of the blood of Christ to “cleanse [me] from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). I truly grasped the reality that not a single ounce of my own effort had contributed to my salvation. I wept over my sin and God’s mercy toward me for the first time.

So in this month that is dedicated to celebrating pride, I want to remember—remember that Jesus can transform anyone who turns to Him in repentance. Remember that Jesus “saved a wretch like me.” 
Remember that Christ gives grace to every person who humbles themselves before Him.
Remember that we are all the same at the foot of the cross.
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#lookingtoJesus #amazinggrace #pride
Our beautiful boy is 1. All the memories surround Our beautiful boy is 1. 
All the memories surrounding his birth are filling my mind and heart today.

This time last year I was in a hospital bed adjusting to the reality of our son coming a month early. I felt so weak, so weary, so unprepared to labor another child from womb to world. It looked like a C-section would be the only option after hours of unimproved heart rate dips. My midwife (whom I’d just met that day) even cried for me (how precious is that?😭). My husband and I prayed for what seemed impossible—a vaginal delivery—and in God’s mercy He chose to grant it. Although it was by far my most painful, difficult birth I was in awe that God had shown such kindness to me. I knew He saw and heard, and was glorified to answer our audacious ask. The midwife and nurse said they’d never seen a turn-around like that in all their years of practicing. 

Little buddy still needed a week in the nicu, yet the Lord revealed His gentleness at every turn—holding my tender, reeling heart in His hands. 

Then, he was home. Yet another answered prayer (they’d projected 3-4 weeks). I’ll never forget the utter joy of his siblings upon his homecoming.

God did not spare me from pain in Jack’s birth story, but instead revealed Himself faithfully and beautifully in the midst of it. When I look at Jack Lewis Cofer, I will always see a testimony of God’s lovingkindness toward me.

Happy Birthday, precious boy. You are a gift I’m unworthy, but so grateful, to steward.
Today I celebrate my dear father. To sum up what Today I celebrate my dear father.

To sum up what I’ve learned from his life would take a post much longer than the word count IG allows. But what I admire the most about him in recent years is seeing a man who consistently grows in wisdom, humility, and joy. He’s one of my favorite people in the world to have deep conversations with—encouraging me to think deeply—and pointing me back to Jesus continually. He’s lived out the declaration in Isaiah 6:8, a passage he loves: “Here I am! Send me.” No words can capture my gratitude for such a rare gift. 

I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebr It’s Father’s Day. And I wholeheartedly celebrate the dad of our children. 
Men of integrity, faithfulness, wisdom, repentance, and holiness are few in this world. But where they are found, it is a joy to honor them. I praise God for the one found in my own home, relentlessly fighting to fix his eyes on Jesus and obey the call on his life to love, disciple, and shepherd his family.

I adore you, @judahcofer. Happy Father’s Day.
When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility o When @naomivacaro asked me about the possibility of coming to TGCW with her (and a nearly immediate “do it” from my husband) I was thrilled. Hands down, my favorite part was the hours and hours of time with this dear friend. It was so sweet to meet *so* many Instagram faces in-person, hear lots of messages, buy books, and drink a good deal of coffee. 

Now it’s off to my husband and little people. As they say, there’s no place like home. 💕

Until next time, Indy!
Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely Today I decided to tackle some weeding in a sorely neglected spot in our yard. A couple of weeks ago I noticed a little blanket of a particular weed beginning to grow, but decided to leave it to work on something else, convincing myself it could pass as nice ground-cover while I worked on “more important” projects. 

But a couple days ago I noticed it no longer passed as ground cover.😅

As I tugged at the multitude of weeds, I pondered how unassuming and rather pretty it looks when it’s small. Whimsical, white flowers bloom along it’s vine-y tendrils. But as it grows it slowly takes over everything. It wraps itself around branches and stems, making it difficult to distinguish which is which. If you take a close look at it, it’s very structure is twisted—growing to overpower and overtake.

How like sin these little weeds are—so often seeming harmless and even a delight to the eye. We let it be, thinking it can pass as part of the scenery of our lives. But it’s whole intention is to overtake. It slowly-yet-steadily wraps itself around whatever it can get ahold of, effecting every aspect of our lives. And eventually it’ll choke the life out of us.

No matter how innocent or appealing sin appears, it needs to be dealt with like these weeds: done away with. Given no room to flourish. Pulled up by the root and tossed out with the trash. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us tending these sins, or at least tolerating them. He knows that any inch we give to sin it will take a mile, keeping us from flourishing in the abundant life of Christ we’ve been given. 

Praise God for His grace that gives us the ability to say no to sin, to deal with it ruthlessly. Apart from Him we are slaves to our sin with no hope of freedom—no desire, even, for a life outside the bondage of death. What mercy, what love found in Jesus who died to free us from “the sin which clings so closely” (Hebrews 12). 

May any facade of beauty that sin might hold wither in the face of His glory.
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#lookingtoJesus #weeding #ponderings #Christcenteredwomanhood
“Lord, tether my dreams to reality.” This has “Lord, tether my dreams to reality.”

This has been a prayer I’ve continually lifted as of late.

I, as most do, have passions and interests that fall outside my family and home sphere. I have “one day” pursuits I feel quite strongly about. And the temptation can sometimes be to skimp in the “already here” and put my best efforts into those other desires (which are good things in-and-of themselves).

But here’s the reality: 

• I have one life to live. What I choose today matters.

• God’s priorities for me are worth pursuing with my whole heart, regardless of the messages the world (and sometimes my own heart) shouts at me. Why? Because He’s my Creator and only He gets to say what’s best for my life.

• My God-given priorities *today* include (but are not limited to) loving my husband and raising, training, teaching, loving, nurturing, and protecting five little people He’s entrusted to me. I alone have been granted the privilege of being called “Mommy” by these children, and “wife” of this precious man. Any other pursuits in this season must strengthen—not hinder—these callings. And, I might add, these 6 people are a dream come true.

• Some of those future dreams/pursuits are dependent on my faithfulness here and now. Why? Because every choice today is a seed planted, a stone laid. What will these say about me 20 years from now?

• I ultimately don’t want anything other than what God wants for me. He has the right and ability to change my course as He sees fit. If He chooses to allow those other dreams to come to fruition in His time and way I’ll be thrilled. But if He takes them away, blessed be His name. 

Tethered dreams have time to mature, deepen, be refined or even changed completely with age. Tethered dreams recognize that I can’t see the beginning from the end. Tethered dreams are safe with the One who can.

Lord, tether my dreams to reality.
Your reality.
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#lookingtoJesus #Christcenteredwomanhood
“The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and “The triangle of truisms, of father, mother and child, cannot be destroyed; it can only destroy those civilizations which disregard it.” - G. K. Chesterton

The moral fabric of our society is being shredded to pieces right before our eyes, and the attack on the family is right at the heart of it.

Is there anything more counter-cultural we can do than hold fast to God’s design for family—a husband and wife covenanting to one another until death, bearing and raising children for the glory of God? I doubt it. This seemingly simple stand is being showered with fiery darts. The enemy of our souls would like nothing more than for believers to cave to the pressures and lies of society.

But by God’s grace, we can hold fast to this now-radical, Christ-honoring view of husbands, wives, and children. It might feel insignificant at times. But I have a feeling this obedience in regard to God’s design family is accomplishing far more than we’ll ever know this side of eternity.
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#lookingtoJesus #family #husbandsandwives #children #childrenareagift
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